Trusting your child means giving him the space to "be".
To practice trusting your child is a difficult exercise
at times because, as parents, we are conditioned to be
on the lookout for what can go wrong.
This way of thinking is fear based. The challenge this
month is to transform fear based thoughts and feelings
into love based thoughts and feelings.
This does not mean that we behave irresponsibly as we
guide our children. It means that we explore where our
thoughts are pre-dominantly rooted in fear.
See if you can practice trusting that your child knows
his limits. You may be surprised at how connected your
child actually is to his intuition.
Instead of saying, "Be careful, you WILL fall or get
hurt", you can try, "Take care of yourself and be aware
of what is around you."
Be present to your inner guidance which will signal you
if there is in fact, real potential danger that needs
to be addressed.
Instead of bringing your child's attention to the "bad"
things that may happen, focus on guiding him to be aware
of what is going on around him.
Show your child what it looks like to be fully awake, so
to speak, so that he can pay attention to the details of
his surroundings.
For example: When I rollerblade with my daughter, I bring
her awareness to what is not only in front of her but
all around her.
I say things like, "Listen to the sounds all around you,
feel the road underfoot." As she is easily distracted
by thoughts that take her attention away from the moment,
I gently bring her attention to what is happening all
around her right now. With this practice, as we play
and have fun, she is learning to be fully awake in the
present moment.
This also leaves little room for complaining or worrying,
since her full attention is given to what is happening
right now.
With older children, informing them of certain risks
and dangers is not the same as inundating them with
endless stories of what can go wrong.
Express your concerns in an authentic way and share
with them how you have used your inner guidance to
direct you in your life.
Encourage them to trust their instincts and empower
them with the confidence to say, "no" when required.
Teach them the difference between, "no" that is filled
with fear and "no" that is an expression
of calm assertiveness.
To respect yourself is to honor your inner guidance.
Give your child the freedom to learn from mistakes
and the guidance to know when to walk away from
real danger.
Real trust is something many of us felt fully as
children. As we grow up and grow into a fear based
world, we turn away from trust.
As a conscious parent, reconnect to the trust within
you, it is there. The innate wisdom within you will
always lead you in the right direction. You cannot
access this wisdom through fear.
Your practice it to also trust that at the core,
beyond the superficial beliefs that you have about
yourself, you are unique, you are special and, best
of all, you are a divinely inspired creative human being.
With love and light
Melinda
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
Getting Re-Connected, Take Some Time To Feel The Magic
With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays it is easy to feel
overwhelmed and stressed at times. As we know, stress can
be very counter productive to any positive shift that we are
trying to create in our lives.
I would like to invite you to take some time for yourself, just
a few minutes a day, to get re-connected with your heart center.
By doing so, you give yourself an opportunity to breathe deeply
and get back to a place of peace within.
Here is a simple meditative exercise that can help you reconnect
and you can do it virtually anywhere:
Place your hand over your heart and inhale deeply, as you
do imagine that you are going inside your heart, as though
your heart were a beautiful room full of light. Exhale, and release
all tension as you connect to that space within your heart.
Repeat about 10-15 times.
This simple yet profound exercise, will help you to center yourself
and will reconnect you to your inner peace.
The practice of meditation is a way to go deeper into ourselves
beyond the realm of the mind. It is like a doorway into the energy
flow of life. It helps us to awaken from the deep sleep of endless
mind activity into a space above and beyond the demands of
everyday experience. The only way for this to really make
sense, is to give it a try.
This simple little meditation can easily be taught to children,
thus giving them the opportunity and space to reconnect with
their inner selves.
As we know, children also need time to recharge and regenerate
especially after a day at school. This simple practice is very
beneficial in calming a child that has been exposed all day to
various energies.
If you've been really busy lately, give yourself the opportunity to
experience the magic of the holidays through the joy and
wonder of your child's experience at this time. In other words,
reconnect the magic between you and your child. Let your child
lead the way, just follow with your heart.
Invite your child to bake with you, if that is your custom. Plan a date
with your child to watch a holiday movie together with popcorn.
The magic of the holidays should not pass by, lost inside the
burden of the 100 or so things that you need to get done. Find
some time to stop and look at the beauty around you.
Go for a walk with your child and just take a look at all the beautiful
colored lights decorating the many homes. Practice being present
to the feeling of the special energy of magic that is so evident at
this time.
Take a moment to cuddle with loved ones. Turn off all of the lights
except for the Christmas tree and let the feeling just be inside of you.
Feeling "connected" is a deep and basic human need. It originates
with the truth that, "separation is illusion, we are one". Assisting
your child to find ways to maintain a deep sense of connection
to his inner state of being is like providing him with a gift that he
can go back to over and over again throughout the course of
his life.
Try to be acutely present, if you can, to all of the moments and
opportunities that arise that allow you to explore your connection
to yourself and your child(ren).
Things may go wrong, plans may change, however, try to hold
onto the notion that it is your EXPERIENCE that is meant to
take your life into the next level. It is your experience, not the
outcome that you seek, that brings you to a higher level of
consciousness. By giving up our attachments to outcomes,
we clear a space for the experience to guide us to our higher
purpose. Outcomes are fleeting and mutable, inner peace is
lasting and is always there for us to come home to.
We just have to choose it.
Consciously decide to think about what you appreciate about
the holiday season. Make a commitment to fully appreciate
your child's joy and all the blessings that you have in this moment.
Stop looking for obstacles and start looking for magic, and
you will find it.
May you have a joyful
and love filled holiday,
Melinda Asztalos
overwhelmed and stressed at times. As we know, stress can
be very counter productive to any positive shift that we are
trying to create in our lives.
I would like to invite you to take some time for yourself, just
a few minutes a day, to get re-connected with your heart center.
By doing so, you give yourself an opportunity to breathe deeply
and get back to a place of peace within.
Here is a simple meditative exercise that can help you reconnect
and you can do it virtually anywhere:
Place your hand over your heart and inhale deeply, as you
do imagine that you are going inside your heart, as though
your heart were a beautiful room full of light. Exhale, and release
all tension as you connect to that space within your heart.
Repeat about 10-15 times.
This simple yet profound exercise, will help you to center yourself
and will reconnect you to your inner peace.
The practice of meditation is a way to go deeper into ourselves
beyond the realm of the mind. It is like a doorway into the energy
flow of life. It helps us to awaken from the deep sleep of endless
mind activity into a space above and beyond the demands of
everyday experience. The only way for this to really make
sense, is to give it a try.
This simple little meditation can easily be taught to children,
thus giving them the opportunity and space to reconnect with
their inner selves.
As we know, children also need time to recharge and regenerate
especially after a day at school. This simple practice is very
beneficial in calming a child that has been exposed all day to
various energies.
If you've been really busy lately, give yourself the opportunity to
experience the magic of the holidays through the joy and
wonder of your child's experience at this time. In other words,
reconnect the magic between you and your child. Let your child
lead the way, just follow with your heart.
Invite your child to bake with you, if that is your custom. Plan a date
with your child to watch a holiday movie together with popcorn.
The magic of the holidays should not pass by, lost inside the
burden of the 100 or so things that you need to get done. Find
some time to stop and look at the beauty around you.
Go for a walk with your child and just take a look at all the beautiful
colored lights decorating the many homes. Practice being present
to the feeling of the special energy of magic that is so evident at
this time.
Take a moment to cuddle with loved ones. Turn off all of the lights
except for the Christmas tree and let the feeling just be inside of you.
Feeling "connected" is a deep and basic human need. It originates
with the truth that, "separation is illusion, we are one". Assisting
your child to find ways to maintain a deep sense of connection
to his inner state of being is like providing him with a gift that he
can go back to over and over again throughout the course of
his life.
Try to be acutely present, if you can, to all of the moments and
opportunities that arise that allow you to explore your connection
to yourself and your child(ren).
Things may go wrong, plans may change, however, try to hold
onto the notion that it is your EXPERIENCE that is meant to
take your life into the next level. It is your experience, not the
outcome that you seek, that brings you to a higher level of
consciousness. By giving up our attachments to outcomes,
we clear a space for the experience to guide us to our higher
purpose. Outcomes are fleeting and mutable, inner peace is
lasting and is always there for us to come home to.
We just have to choose it.
Consciously decide to think about what you appreciate about
the holiday season. Make a commitment to fully appreciate
your child's joy and all the blessings that you have in this moment.
Stop looking for obstacles and start looking for magic, and
you will find it.
May you have a joyful
and love filled holiday,
Melinda Asztalos
Sunday, December 12, 2010
When Parents are Too Controlling
As the pace of life seems to speed up, so do our expectations.
Sometimes, in our rush or stress driven culture we lose sight
of the fact that we are being set up to move faster and "do" more.
Becoming more controlling with our children is a sort of
by-product of the energy of the culture that we are living into.
Before we know it, we have created patterns that are not exactly
in alignment with the kind of parents that we initially set out to be.
Parents who are overly controlling hardly ever recognize this in
themselves. Becoming a conscious parent means that you are
now practicing listening to your words and watching your reactions.
This can be difficult when we've established a few patterns
that are counter-productive.
Try to ask yourself, "How often do I jump in to help my child
out with a simple task that he is struggling to complete but
is just on the verge of “getting it?”
How often do you step in to negotiate for your child
(in a situation where your child is learning to get along
with others in a social setting) instead of coaching or
guiding your child through a social challenge?
When a child completes a task that is not as “perfect”
as his parent would like it to be and the parent is quick to
point this out, over and over again, the result tends to be
a child who develops the idea that there isn’t much point
to reaching for success. His “failure” to meet his parents
expectations overshadows his motivation to keep trying.
On the other end of the spectrum, he may be caught in
an endless struggle of trying to win his parents’ admiration
by over achieving.
Over achieving and striving for excellence is fantastic, when
it is intrinsically motivated. When it is solely motivated by the
aching need to please another in order to feel worthy, it is not
coming from a place of strength and confidence.
It is coming from a feeling of lack.
When conditions for admiration, love and kindness are
placed on our children, they are not given the opportunity to
figure out for themselves how amazing and unique they are.
They are too busy trying to please.
Parents don’t do this consciously. That is why listening to and
watching yourself as a parent is an important part of instilling
confidence.
When we become over controlling, for whatever reason, we
disempower our children and we lose a part of our connection
with them. No loving parent consciously chooses this. It just happens.
Recognizing it is the first step to transforming it.
As we pay attention to the patterns that show up again and again,
we can begin to navigate towards a more heart centred way of parenting
by choosing to allow our children the space to find their own way
through our guidance.
We can begin to acknowledge that instilling confidence will
provide our children with far more effective tools with which
to go into the world.
At the end of the day, would you rather have it done "right"
whatever the cost or would you have it done in a space where
love and learning are present.
Sometimes, in our rush or stress driven culture we lose sight
of the fact that we are being set up to move faster and "do" more.
Becoming more controlling with our children is a sort of
by-product of the energy of the culture that we are living into.
Before we know it, we have created patterns that are not exactly
in alignment with the kind of parents that we initially set out to be.
Parents who are overly controlling hardly ever recognize this in
themselves. Becoming a conscious parent means that you are
now practicing listening to your words and watching your reactions.
This can be difficult when we've established a few patterns
that are counter-productive.
Try to ask yourself, "How often do I jump in to help my child
out with a simple task that he is struggling to complete but
is just on the verge of “getting it?”
How often do you step in to negotiate for your child
(in a situation where your child is learning to get along
with others in a social setting) instead of coaching or
guiding your child through a social challenge?
When a child completes a task that is not as “perfect”
as his parent would like it to be and the parent is quick to
point this out, over and over again, the result tends to be
a child who develops the idea that there isn’t much point
to reaching for success. His “failure” to meet his parents
expectations overshadows his motivation to keep trying.
On the other end of the spectrum, he may be caught in
an endless struggle of trying to win his parents’ admiration
by over achieving.
Over achieving and striving for excellence is fantastic, when
it is intrinsically motivated. When it is solely motivated by the
aching need to please another in order to feel worthy, it is not
coming from a place of strength and confidence.
It is coming from a feeling of lack.
When conditions for admiration, love and kindness are
placed on our children, they are not given the opportunity to
figure out for themselves how amazing and unique they are.
They are too busy trying to please.
Parents don’t do this consciously. That is why listening to and
watching yourself as a parent is an important part of instilling
confidence.
When we become over controlling, for whatever reason, we
disempower our children and we lose a part of our connection
with them. No loving parent consciously chooses this. It just happens.
Recognizing it is the first step to transforming it.
As we pay attention to the patterns that show up again and again,
we can begin to navigate towards a more heart centred way of parenting
by choosing to allow our children the space to find their own way
through our guidance.
We can begin to acknowledge that instilling confidence will
provide our children with far more effective tools with which
to go into the world.
At the end of the day, would you rather have it done "right"
whatever the cost or would you have it done in a space where
love and learning are present.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Turn Off The TV Because I Love You
Parents innately know that too much TV for a child, or anyone,
for that matter is not a good thing. Sometimes, we just need some
peace in order to cook dinner or take care of a task. In this respect,
the TV is very alluring for parents who are exhausted, overwhelmed
stressed or all three at the same time.
Getting your children used to entertaining themselves without the
TV may prove to be less challenging than you think and it provides
a win-win situation for everyone.
Here are a few things that you may not know about TV watching:
TV is not relaxing, it is actually stimulating, but not in a way that is
useful for young minds. A young child needs to interact with people
and the world around him in order to develop healthy brain function.
Watching TV is passive stimulation, where the child is being bombarded
with fast paced editing that lends itself to being "zoned out".
A brain needs habitual age appropriate mental challenges
for proper growth and stimulation.
Researchers have found that popular baby videos designed to stimulate
vocabulary actually had more detrimental effects that positive ones.
Babies require face to face stimulation and interaction with a parent
in order to learn. TV or Video watching interferes with the way the
young brain begins to "hard-wire" itself.
In order for the brain to develop optimally, a child needs to engage fully
in creative play that both challenges and inspires him to make full use
of the sensory data he is receiving.
The 2D experience of TV watching robs your child of engaging in problem
solving, visual and cognitive strengthening as well as learning
important social skills.
When a child does not have time set aside for introspection (playing alone,
or reading quietly) it is very difficult for him to get connected to a deeper
sense of self. With introspection comes getting to know your inner voice
and finding the wisdom within. It is a time to decompress and reflect.
Through this time of reflection a child has the chance to sort things
out and to discover his interior world.
Research indicates that children's creativity and problem solving abilities
decline as they continue to watch TV and for longer periods of time.
A child's imagination is basically watered down when TV takes up
a few hours a day of their time.
A few hours a day equals hundreds of hours a year.
If a child is used to watching a certain amount of TV per day, cutting
him off "cold turkey" seems unreasonable and can lead to resentment.
Here are a few ideas to help you with the transition from less
TV to more creative play:
Ask interesting questions often that engage your child
and encourage her to think.
Give your child an opportunity to play actively, using her whole body
as in swimming, gymnastics, soccer, etc.
Start cutting back TV watching until there is no more than 1/2 hour
after school of screen time and one - two hours on weekends.
Bring your child into the kitchen with you as you make dinner and have
her do her homework or an activity that she likes such as drawing, for example.
Give your children creative and exciting projects that are aligned with
their interests and watch how engaged they become.
Provide lots of positive feedback when your child has found ways
to play creatively.
Remember that it is critical for you to remain consistent around your
rules about TV watching so that your children know what to expect.
Withholding TV is not a punishment it is an act of claiming back the
direction that you want your child to grow towards. That direction is
positive creativity, active listening, creative thinking, inner reflection
for greater connection to inner wisdom and celebrating the uniqueness
that is "I".
You may be amazed to find that once your child(ren) have become more
accustomed to discovering who they are and what they can do creatively,
without the TV, their demand for it begins to fall back. Your children begin
to dream big and live in their creativity which is the most natural thing
for them to do.
for that matter is not a good thing. Sometimes, we just need some
peace in order to cook dinner or take care of a task. In this respect,
the TV is very alluring for parents who are exhausted, overwhelmed
stressed or all three at the same time.
Getting your children used to entertaining themselves without the
TV may prove to be less challenging than you think and it provides
a win-win situation for everyone.
Here are a few things that you may not know about TV watching:
TV is not relaxing, it is actually stimulating, but not in a way that is
useful for young minds. A young child needs to interact with people
and the world around him in order to develop healthy brain function.
Watching TV is passive stimulation, where the child is being bombarded
with fast paced editing that lends itself to being "zoned out".
A brain needs habitual age appropriate mental challenges
for proper growth and stimulation.
Researchers have found that popular baby videos designed to stimulate
vocabulary actually had more detrimental effects that positive ones.
Babies require face to face stimulation and interaction with a parent
in order to learn. TV or Video watching interferes with the way the
young brain begins to "hard-wire" itself.
In order for the brain to develop optimally, a child needs to engage fully
in creative play that both challenges and inspires him to make full use
of the sensory data he is receiving.
The 2D experience of TV watching robs your child of engaging in problem
solving, visual and cognitive strengthening as well as learning
important social skills.
When a child does not have time set aside for introspection (playing alone,
or reading quietly) it is very difficult for him to get connected to a deeper
sense of self. With introspection comes getting to know your inner voice
and finding the wisdom within. It is a time to decompress and reflect.
Through this time of reflection a child has the chance to sort things
out and to discover his interior world.
Research indicates that children's creativity and problem solving abilities
decline as they continue to watch TV and for longer periods of time.
A child's imagination is basically watered down when TV takes up
a few hours a day of their time.
A few hours a day equals hundreds of hours a year.
If a child is used to watching a certain amount of TV per day, cutting
him off "cold turkey" seems unreasonable and can lead to resentment.
Here are a few ideas to help you with the transition from less
TV to more creative play:
Ask interesting questions often that engage your child
and encourage her to think.
Give your child an opportunity to play actively, using her whole body
as in swimming, gymnastics, soccer, etc.
Start cutting back TV watching until there is no more than 1/2 hour
after school of screen time and one - two hours on weekends.
Bring your child into the kitchen with you as you make dinner and have
her do her homework or an activity that she likes such as drawing, for example.
Give your children creative and exciting projects that are aligned with
their interests and watch how engaged they become.
Provide lots of positive feedback when your child has found ways
to play creatively.
Remember that it is critical for you to remain consistent around your
rules about TV watching so that your children know what to expect.
Withholding TV is not a punishment it is an act of claiming back the
direction that you want your child to grow towards. That direction is
positive creativity, active listening, creative thinking, inner reflection
for greater connection to inner wisdom and celebrating the uniqueness
that is "I".
You may be amazed to find that once your child(ren) have become more
accustomed to discovering who they are and what they can do creatively,
without the TV, their demand for it begins to fall back. Your children begin
to dream big and live in their creativity which is the most natural thing
for them to do.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Trust Your Inner Wisdom
Sometimes as parents we neglect our
own inner wisdom because we have
forgotten to trust ourselves.
With so many opinions from friends,
family members and parenting books,
it is easy to get confused or worried
that we are not doing "the right thing".
Only you know how to parent your child
the way that is best for your child.
Opinions and advice are great as
inspiration or as a way to gain greater
awareness and understanding of your
beliefs and reactions. All the wisdom
that you need is already in you.
Only you have that special and sacred
connection with your child. Asking
for guidance with challenges is very
beneficial because it helps you to
see some things that you otherwise
may not have considered.
However, the ultimate and best guidance
will direct you towards your own inner
wisdom and support your goals as well
as positive change.
If you feel pressured to do something
because, "they say it is the right thing
to do", then it may not be right for you.
Trust your intuition and trust the signals
that you are getting from your child(ren).
When you get stuck, ask, research and
look for solutions, but remember to
take a deep breath and connect with your
own inner wisdom.
Ask yourself, what is the best course of
action for me to take right now regarding
this matter and feel the message that
your inspiration and inner wisdom is
sending you.
Help is always there for you, if you
are open to it. True help, stands beside
you shoulder to shoulder, supporting you
in a loving and compassionate way.
Everyone gets lost, stuck and exhausted
at times - you are not alone.
I love the beautiful words I heard from
The Reverend Dr. Michael Beckwith:
"Out of nothing and no way,
a way will be made".
Trust that you have the wisdom and the
power to create a beautiful life for
yourself and for your children.
own inner wisdom because we have
forgotten to trust ourselves.
With so many opinions from friends,
family members and parenting books,
it is easy to get confused or worried
that we are not doing "the right thing".
Only you know how to parent your child
the way that is best for your child.
Opinions and advice are great as
inspiration or as a way to gain greater
awareness and understanding of your
beliefs and reactions. All the wisdom
that you need is already in you.
Only you have that special and sacred
connection with your child. Asking
for guidance with challenges is very
beneficial because it helps you to
see some things that you otherwise
may not have considered.
However, the ultimate and best guidance
will direct you towards your own inner
wisdom and support your goals as well
as positive change.
If you feel pressured to do something
because, "they say it is the right thing
to do", then it may not be right for you.
Trust your intuition and trust the signals
that you are getting from your child(ren).
When you get stuck, ask, research and
look for solutions, but remember to
take a deep breath and connect with your
own inner wisdom.
Ask yourself, what is the best course of
action for me to take right now regarding
this matter and feel the message that
your inspiration and inner wisdom is
sending you.
Help is always there for you, if you
are open to it. True help, stands beside
you shoulder to shoulder, supporting you
in a loving and compassionate way.
Everyone gets lost, stuck and exhausted
at times - you are not alone.
I love the beautiful words I heard from
The Reverend Dr. Michael Beckwith:
"Out of nothing and no way,
a way will be made".
Trust that you have the wisdom and the
power to create a beautiful life for
yourself and for your children.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A Simple Technique To Change Your Entire Day!
With everything going on, sometimes it is so hard
to just wake up in the morning feeling refreshed
and in a good mood.
So often we don't even think about it, we are so
used to waking up feeling less than excited about
the new day that we are about to live into.
Parents that are overtired, exhausted and burdened
with the long list of things that need to get done
are more likely to balk at the idea of waking up
feeling refreshed, let alone supercharged with
positive energy.
Here is a suggestion on how to start your day a
bit differently that can make all the difference
in the world.
About 15 minutes before you are about to get up,
try this simple technique:
Sit comfortably in your bed take a few deep
breaths and focus your attention on your heart.
As you breath deeply, imagine a pure energy flowing
through and around you.
Imagine that you are infusing this energy with
love and well being. Take your time as you
watch it all around you. Recognize it as
the energy of abundant joy, prosperity and
well being.
Just feel it around you without trying to grasp
for it. Let it flow through you and let it open
your heart to a day that is filled with a never
ending stream of this energy.
Now take a moment to think about one thing
that is working for you in your life. It
doesn't matter how small or in what area.
Really focus on that.
Focus on the energy that is flowing around you
as it feeds and expands the areas in your life
that are working.
Breath deeply. Now open your eyes and repeat:
I am grateful for receiving abundant joy today
I am grateful for receiving an abundance of
inspiration today
I am grateful for the love that is expanding
my heart right now and all day today.
Success with this exercise is determined by
how much you are willing to allow yourself to
let go and just feel the energy moving and
directing you.
Practice this exercise every morning for the
next 30 days and you WILL notice a shift
take place in your life.
to just wake up in the morning feeling refreshed
and in a good mood.
So often we don't even think about it, we are so
used to waking up feeling less than excited about
the new day that we are about to live into.
Parents that are overtired, exhausted and burdened
with the long list of things that need to get done
are more likely to balk at the idea of waking up
feeling refreshed, let alone supercharged with
positive energy.
Here is a suggestion on how to start your day a
bit differently that can make all the difference
in the world.
About 15 minutes before you are about to get up,
try this simple technique:
Sit comfortably in your bed take a few deep
breaths and focus your attention on your heart.
As you breath deeply, imagine a pure energy flowing
through and around you.
Imagine that you are infusing this energy with
love and well being. Take your time as you
watch it all around you. Recognize it as
the energy of abundant joy, prosperity and
well being.
Just feel it around you without trying to grasp
for it. Let it flow through you and let it open
your heart to a day that is filled with a never
ending stream of this energy.
Now take a moment to think about one thing
that is working for you in your life. It
doesn't matter how small or in what area.
Really focus on that.
Focus on the energy that is flowing around you
as it feeds and expands the areas in your life
that are working.
Breath deeply. Now open your eyes and repeat:
I am grateful for receiving abundant joy today
I am grateful for receiving an abundance of
inspiration today
I am grateful for the love that is expanding
my heart right now and all day today.
Success with this exercise is determined by
how much you are willing to allow yourself to
let go and just feel the energy moving and
directing you.
Practice this exercise every morning for the
next 30 days and you WILL notice a shift
take place in your life.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A Few Tips On Instilling Confidence
Here are a few suggestions to help you instill
a deeper sense of confidence in your child:
Recognize the effort that is put forth from the
child and praise the effort. Put less emphasis
on the end result.
Your child may have fallen short of excellence,
depending on one's perspective, but the effort
shows determination and courage which
is very positive.
Encourage your child to find her special talent
and guide her to her level and perception
of perfecting it.
Make it clear that failure opens up the door to
possibility. Through losing and making mistakes,
we can learn how to do things differently.
Failure teaches us what we want to avoid and
what we can do to achieve a more desirable
result the next time. Learning to overcome
obstacles in this way encourages children
to keep trying.
Encourage children to try something new.
Support and comfort them if they do not
succeed without making it into a big deal.
Striving to overcome obstacles sometimes
takes persistence. Defeat means that you
just give up and never try. Show your child
that there is another way.
Practice giving your child little reminders
that show your appreciation of her
accomplishments.
Remain authentic with your encouragement.
Going overboard and praising every little
thing may lead your child to believe that
he needs constant praise and approval in
order to be accepted. He may conclude that
what makes him special, depends upon
what other people think of him. Feeling
worthy is then equated with
how much approval he can get.
Provide appropriate borders for your child
and remain consistent. Children can feel
if you are afraid to say no to them and
they begin to believe that they can have
whatever they want because they demand it.
This does not provide them with an awareness
of the possibilities that they can create for
themselves later on in life.
If your child is focused on his difficulties,
bring him back to focusing on his strengths.
Gently show him that difficulties help us
find solutions and that a weakness can
be turned around into a strength.
True confidence comes with an inner knowing
that we can succeed. When a perceived failure
arises, with confidence we find a way to recognize
opportunity and move through a situation by
discovering new ways of moving forward instead
of dwelling on a particularly negative event.
The ability to take risk, the ability to act with
courage and the ability to attract a way through
a situation begins with the confidence in knowing
that we can.
a deeper sense of confidence in your child:
Recognize the effort that is put forth from the
child and praise the effort. Put less emphasis
on the end result.
Your child may have fallen short of excellence,
depending on one's perspective, but the effort
shows determination and courage which
is very positive.
Encourage your child to find her special talent
and guide her to her level and perception
of perfecting it.
Make it clear that failure opens up the door to
possibility. Through losing and making mistakes,
we can learn how to do things differently.
Failure teaches us what we want to avoid and
what we can do to achieve a more desirable
result the next time. Learning to overcome
obstacles in this way encourages children
to keep trying.
Encourage children to try something new.
Support and comfort them if they do not
succeed without making it into a big deal.
Striving to overcome obstacles sometimes
takes persistence. Defeat means that you
just give up and never try. Show your child
that there is another way.
Practice giving your child little reminders
that show your appreciation of her
accomplishments.
Remain authentic with your encouragement.
Going overboard and praising every little
thing may lead your child to believe that
he needs constant praise and approval in
order to be accepted. He may conclude that
what makes him special, depends upon
what other people think of him. Feeling
worthy is then equated with
how much approval he can get.
Provide appropriate borders for your child
and remain consistent. Children can feel
if you are afraid to say no to them and
they begin to believe that they can have
whatever they want because they demand it.
This does not provide them with an awareness
of the possibilities that they can create for
themselves later on in life.
If your child is focused on his difficulties,
bring him back to focusing on his strengths.
Gently show him that difficulties help us
find solutions and that a weakness can
be turned around into a strength.
True confidence comes with an inner knowing
that we can succeed. When a perceived failure
arises, with confidence we find a way to recognize
opportunity and move through a situation by
discovering new ways of moving forward instead
of dwelling on a particularly negative event.
The ability to take risk, the ability to act with
courage and the ability to attract a way through
a situation begins with the confidence in knowing
that we can.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)