tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26854301626724884312024-03-13T09:43:05.536-07:00Positive Parenting For Real LifeHow to raise children without screaming,
nagging or struggling.Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-60152871884750596492012-05-08T16:51:00.001-07:002012-05-08T16:51:38.921-07:00Help Your Child Tame TerrorsEvery parent goes through the experience of dealing with<br />
a child's nightmares. Nightmares that persist cause alot of upset<br />
to both parent and child as well as wreak havoc with everyone's<br />
need for rest.<br />
<br />
To begin, you all know that nightmares are the way that the<br />
unconscious mind actively copes with stress, change and<br />
unresolved conflict. When a parent pays attention to the nature<br />
of the nightmare, key elements of what the child is trying to work<br />
through are revealed. These are signals to you that your child is<br />
trying to work through something that is inexpressible.<br />
<br />
When you listen with an open heart and allow your inner guidance<br />
to take the lead, you get to hear the special message that your child's<br />
mind is trying to reveal.<br />
<br />
7 USEFUL TIPS ON TAMING THE TERRORS<br />
<br />
1) Create a routine at night that is calming and soothing.<br />
No TV right before bed. TV is actually a stimulant and<br />
the images that are taken in the last 5 minutes before sleep<br />
will enter into the dream cycle.<br />
<br />
2) One on one time with parent. Take this time with your child<br />
to read a story that is positive and inspiring. Reassure your child -<br />
never diminish the seriousness that the child places on the dream<br />
with comments like "that is silly, there is nothing to be afraid of",<br />
that is not the world your child is living in at the moment.<br />
Tell your child stories about yourself and how you overcame<br />
your own nightmares, this normalizes the situation for your child.<br />
<br />
3) Well before bed, tell a story out loud that involves the nightmare.<br />
Together with your child, come up with alternate endings for the<br />
story that empower your child. Rehearse the new story and play it out.<br />
Give your child the option of creating an invisible magical toolbox<br />
that has special things inside of it that relate to dissolving the recurring<br />
threat within the dream. Your child can even create a toolbox out of a<br />
shoe box, decorate it and put special things inside that may be ordinary<br />
when he is awake, but becomes powerful and protective when he takes<br />
them into his dreams with his imagination.<br />
<br />
4) You can create a special ritual like putting lavender water in<br />
a spray bottle and use it sparingly as special "protective" mist that<br />
puts a shield around him at night.<br />
<br />
5) As you pay attention to the symbols that seem to keep showing up<br />
in your child's dreams, you can ask questions during the day that will<br />
help you understand what your child is trying to work though. You<br />
are looking for ways to help your child gain more emotional balance.<br />
Look for clues that point in the direction where your child needs your<br />
reassurance and support in dealing with a situation.<br />
<br />
6) I would recommend, not too much eating before bed as this<br />
can boost a child's metabolism and increase brain activity.<br />
Keep it light and at least an hour away from sleep if possible.<br />
<br />
7) When your child wakes fearfully, remember his brain is not<br />
wired the same as an adults. It may take some time before he<br />
realizes that is fully conscious and is no longer in the dream.<br />
It takes children longer to "shake off" the dream. Offer lots<br />
of reassurance and let your child talk about the experience.<br />
<br />
As you engage your child to role play and feel empowered<br />
to conquer the fear or conflict he is dealing with you will<br />
notice improvement and a decline in the nightmares.<br />
Persistent nightmares that lead you to believe that more<br />
serious psychological issues are taking place should be<br />
addressed by a trained professional.<br />
<br />
With your loving support and guidance, your child can creatively<br />
find ways to work through issues in his life that he is finding<br />
challenging to deal with. When you use your inner guidance, you<br />
will note patterns in symbols and how your child's mind is trying<br />
to handle the inner conflict.<br />
<br />
Never assume that you know exactly what is going on without<br />
inquiring first. Ensure that you give your child plenty of opportunity<br />
to express and answer questions that are designed to get to the heart<br />
of what he is trying to work through. Remember to remain flexible<br />
with your solutions. The mind ebbs and flows with thoughts, beliefs<br />
and patterns, be in flow with what emerges and co -create beliefs<br />
with your child that lead him to discover the power of "I can".<br />
<br />
with love and light<br />
MelindaMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-11913318398296376082012-04-16T14:32:00.001-07:002012-04-16T14:32:23.593-07:00Make Parenting Easier With This<br />
Have you ever been lectured by one<br />
or both of your parents ever in your life?<br />
<br />
After the lecture did you ever say to yourself,<br />
"Wow mom/dad is so right, what was I thinking,<br />
I better go and... (clean my room, do my homework....)<br />
right away."<br />
<br />
I am guessing that most of you reading this did<br />
not have the above thought just after having<br />
been lectured.<br />
<br />
So why on earth do we think that it will work with<br />
our kids? Do we really believe that our lectures<br />
will miraculously alter our child's behavior pattern?<br />
<br />
Deep down, I believe that we know it will not.<br />
We lecture because we are frustrated, overwhelmed,<br />
tired or feeling a disconnect with our desire to<br />
have a mutually respectful relationship with our<br />
kids. Essentially, we are venting and hoping that<br />
this venting will dissolve a behavior that we do<br />
not want to experience.<br />
<br />
Lecturing does not work because it is not open<br />
communication and it makes people shut down<br />
and tune you out. You CANNOT motivate<br />
someone to WANT to do something, you can<br />
only lead, inspire and model.<br />
<br />
By learning how to respond instead of react, you<br />
can learn how to ask questions from a response standpoint.<br />
This is the language of open communication.<br />
<br />
Jumping in and trying to offer immediate unsolicited<br />
advice is not open and it can lead to your child<br />
feeling exasperated because he feels that you are not<br />
listening.<br />
<br />
Research has shown that teenagers want their parents<br />
to listen to them from their perspective. Just listen -<br />
with presence, and remain in that state of true listening.<br />
This means that you refrain from constructing a response<br />
before the speaker has finished speaking.<br />
<br />
Think back to when you were a teenager. Really get<br />
present to remembering how that felt. Imagine what it<br />
would have felt like if your parents really listened to<br />
you from your point of view and that they really<br />
understood you. Now imagine how that would<br />
have made you feel - even if they didn't have an<br />
immediate solution for you.<br />
<br />
Here are 2 ideas that might be interesting<br />
to try out:<br />
<br />
1) When your teenager is in a receptive mood,<br />
ask her this, "If you could write a column in a<br />
magazine that parents would be reading,<br />
what advice would you give them?"<br />
<br />
2) Make a list with your teen and co-create rules.<br />
On the left side of the list are your agreements<br />
(both parent and child agree to ...) on the right side<br />
are a list of expectations (from both parent and child)<br />
When you both agree to the list of agreements and<br />
expectations, both of you can sign it.<br />
<br />
The agreements and expectations are not one sided,<br />
they are created for and by both parent and child.<br />
When an individual feels ownership of what he is<br />
creating, he will be more likely to stick to his agreements.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As you play with alternatives to lecturing, you will</div>
<div>
soon notice that your relationship with your child</div>
<div>
starts to reflect the newfound respect that they feel</div>
<div>
for you. The connections you are forging will</div>
<div>
serve you as you inspire your child to go forward</div>
<div>
in life with values and attitudes that support his success.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
With love and light</div>
<div>
Melinda Asztalos</div>Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-56622161038676479872012-04-02T10:43:00.003-07:002012-04-02T10:50:40.082-07:00How to help kids be responsible<br />
Children are naturally egocentric so it stands to reason why they don't see the value<br />
in expressing compassion to another when their budding personalities have caused<br />
another to feel hurt.<br />
<br />
It is hard for kids to say "I'm sorry" and feel what that means, WITHOUT making<br />
themselves feel like they are "bad".<br />
<br />
That is the challenge here. We want our kids to take responsibility but we don't<br />
want to make them feel like losers because they made a mistake or could not handle<br />
their frustration in the heat of the moment.<br />
<br />
Forcing them to say "I'm sorry" will get the words out but it will do very little<br />
to teach true empathy. So here are some positive solutions for everyday life.<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">STEP ONE</span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"></span></b> Find out what is driving the problem that the child seems to be having,<br />
(i.e., trouble sharing , being mean to sibling, etc.) Determine what your<br />
child seems to be needing in the moment and doesn't have the skill to get<br />
appropriately. What emotional need is behind the behavior driving your<br />
child to behave in this way?<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><b>STEP TWO</b></span><br />
Address your child's concern and help her see how her behavior impacts<br />
the people in her world:<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><b>EXAMPLE</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><b></b></span>Parent: "I can see that you were arguing with your brother about that toy,<br />
and he walked away crying, what's going on?"<br />
<br />
Child: "He won't share anything, ever."<br />
<br />
Parent: "So you are saying that Tommy won't share anything, ever with you,<br />
did I get that right?"<br />
<br />
Child: Yes<br />
<br />
Parent: " I can see how upsetting that can be for you, it's no fun to not get<br />
to play with toys you want to play with is it?"<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>( avoid the urge to tell her/him what to do at this point just see from your child's </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i>perspective)</i></span><br />
<br />
Child: Nods in agreement<br />
<br />
Parent: When you were angry and yelled at Tommy,<br />
how do you think that made him feel?<br />
<br />
Child: Sad, I guess<br />
<br />
Parent: Yes, I get that too. I was wondering, do you have any idea how both of<br />
you can make a plan that works so you both get to share all the toys ?<br />
<br />
As you work with your child to find creative ways to solve the problem, notice<br />
your child's energy shift as you focus on the positive aspects of the new plan.<br />
If another sibling was involved invite him or her to join in on the problem solving.<br />
Once you've all agreed to a plan that is realistic and works for all members then<br />
you can address the responsibility part.<br />
<br />
Parent: Now that we have a great plan, how could you have done things differently<br />
this morning so that Tommy would not have felt hurt?<br />
<br />
Child: I could have.......<br />
<br />
Parent: Yes I think that would work really well. What do you think you can do now<br />
that would make both of you feel better about what happened? Your words and<br />
your actions are so powerful. How can you be powerful and show Tommy<br />
that you care?<br />
<br />
By first addressing what drove the upset you are validating how your child is<br />
feeling, NOT agreeing with the behavior, just showing that you "get it".<br />
<br />
Then, as you problem solve, your focus shifts to what CAN be done -<br />
it shifts to what you both want instead of feeding the energy of the reaction itself.<br />
<br />
When you get some solutions that are realistic and do-able, then you re-direct<br />
to taking responsibility. Your child is now much calmer and feels like he has been<br />
heard - this makes it alot easier for him or her to listen to you.<br />
<br />
You are helping your child see how powerful he is in the world with his thoughts,<br />
words and actions. As this becomes a habit in your family, your child will naturally<br />
gravitate towards this way of being and thinking. You also help him to "clean up"<br />
by focussing on how he can make amends in a way that does not shame, blame<br />
or attack his self esteem.<br />
<br />
Through a space of love you teach empathy and how to problem solve using the<br />
heart and the mind together. This process does not take alot of time when you<br />
get used to it and imagine how much time you will save in the long run when<br />
your child gets the hang of it!<br />
<br />
With love and light,<br />
MelindaMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-24681689246217761922012-02-27T17:23:00.002-08:002012-02-27T17:34:21.677-08:00Showing your child who's the boss. What is it going to cost you?<br />
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From generation to generation the idea of the parent<br />
being the boss has been so deeply ingrained and </div>
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accepted that it is not very often that we question<br />
the depth of the cost of being boss.</div>
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Being the boss says, you need to do what I want and<br />
what I need when I need it. When your child asks "Why?"<br />
with those big inquisitive yearning eyes, the boss<br />
usually replies, because I said so. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Being the boss has nothing to do with being a leader.<br />
When our children are babies, we do everything for<br />
them and sometimes it is difficult to acknowledge that<br />
we need to be flexible as we adapt to their constant<br />
growth and stage of development.</div>
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<br /></div>
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When you need to show your child who is the boss<br />
you leave little room for your child to feel autonomy.<br />
You leave little room for your child to feel like his<br />
voice and opinions matter in the world. Yes you<br />
can control what your child is doing by imposing<br />
your will but what is the long term cost of that?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Your child will grow up believing that he needs to<br />
seek approval from outside sources in order to feel<br />
worthy. He will grow up feeling like he is less than<br />
and needs to adopt certain characteristics in order<br />
to be somebody, not so good in the teenage years.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Does this mean that we let our kids do<br />
whatever they want? No. It means that we let go </div>
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of the boss mentality and adopt the leader mentality. </div>
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A leader recognizes the consequences of his<br />
interactions with people long after the conversation<br />
is over. A leader guides without imposing his will.<br />
A leader inspires others to be their greatest selves. </div>
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A boss says, "Do as I say because I am<br />
your parent and I know what is best for </div>
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you in every situation."</div>
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<br /></div>
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A leader says, "Trust me to guide you and I will lead<br />
you to trust your inner wisdom and teach you skills<br />
to live a life that you love."</div>
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<br /></div>
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Take a look deep within and honestly ask yourself<br />
why you need to be a boss. Is it because that is<br />
the way you were raised? Is it because deep<br />
down you believe that you are powerless and<br />
you need to be in control to be powerful? </div>
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Is it because you are afraid that your child<br />
won't turn out the way you think </div>
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he should turn out if you are not the boss?</div>
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<br /></div>
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These are very tough questions. If you are willing<br />
to really look at them, you are ready to dive into<br />
the arena of conscious parenting where your<br />
leadership skills will empower your children<br />
and inspire them to believe in themselves.</div>
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<br /></div>
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A child who's spirit is guided and honoured is<br />
a child that sees life with eyes that have not<br />
been darkened with negative self-limiting beliefs.</div>
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Being a calm leader is far more powerful than<br />
being a boss and it makes your parenting<br />
journey much more joy filled. Your child is<br />
under your "control" for a very short period<br />
of time. In that time you can inspire this brave<br />
little soul with great skill and wisdom.<br />
<br />
With that kind of power you can change the world. </div>
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<br /></div>
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With love and light</div>
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Melinda</div>Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-52800969691619310162011-12-23T09:49:00.000-08:002011-12-23T10:12:53.847-08:00Why Your Kids Need You To Be OKKeeping your cool in a situation is tough even for the most patient.<br />There are some days when you are just not sure that you can keep <br />it together and stay out of that typical knee jerk response.<br /><br />Here is a little eye opener to keep you focused on your child's perspective.<br />Our kids need us to stay calm so that their world feels stable. To us, a <br />simple incident is no big deal and we may be able to recover quickly, <br />however, to a child who has only been on the planet for a few years, <br />his/her brain cannot process information the same way that you can.<br /><br />Kids scope out their environment by sensing the energy that is within it;<br />especially the energy that comes from people that they are strongly <br />connected to. If they sense that you are in a state of overwhelm, they <br />tend to "act out" or "misbehave", Why? because they do not have a <br />better coping strategy as of yet. <br /><br />Sometimes they just don't know what else to do with the intensity of <br />the energy that they feel and they respond automatically with fear and <br />that fear has many faces:<br /><br />Anger, defiance and /or a complete inability to regulate the strong <br />emotions that they are trying to process.<br /><br />When you are calm and when you have taken the necessary time to <br />recharge your own batteries, you are much better equipped to handle <br />their big emotions. This does not mean that you need to dive in and <br />try to find a solution for them to self soothe. If you want to de-escalate <br />a volatile situation here are some basic steps:<br /><br />1) Stop what you are doing and thinking and breathe. Make <br />a very conscious effort to just notice what is going on inside <br />your body and how intense your feelings are.<br /><br />2) In a calm manner, validate what your child is going through - <br />this does not mean that you condone behavior this means <br />that you are taking this moment NOW to tell your child, <br />"I HEAR YOU and I can see from your eyes". <br /><br />An example of this would be, " I can hear from your voice <br />that you are feeling very angry right now about this. I get that <br />you really wanted to…….I know that this is frustrating for you." <br />Listen very carefully to your tone - are you sounding <br />anxious, nervous, furious - take it to neutral.<br /><br />3) Tell your child that you will be there to help him/her <br />through his/her feelings. An example of this would be: <br />" I love you so much and I am going to stay right <br />here with you and these big feelings." Please note <br />that this is not followed by a solution - you are not <br />giving unsolicited advice - you are being an anchor - <br />a solid rock for your child so that s/he can see there <br />is someone close-by that s/he can trust who knows <br />what to do now and who is present.<br /><br />4) Stay present with your child, you do not need to <br />look for something to say or something to do. Feel what <br />your inner guidance is prompting you to do in the moment. <br />How do you know it is your heart leading the way and <br />not your head? Focus your attention directly on your <br />heart - even place your hand there to help you focus <br />and breathe. You child might ask questions or just <br />want to vent - be vigilant, don't rush in to answer. <br />You might feel that is would be best to remain <br />quiet and just listen.<br /><br />5) Be prepared for your child to unleash a big <br />emotion WITHOUT TAKING IT PERSONALLY. <br />You told your child that you will be there, and <br />so you must stay and show that you are not <br />going to fix him/her, you are going to be present <br />and feel what is required in the moment of this <br />sacred connection. Just LISTEN and FEEL.<br /><br />6) If your child says something like, <br />"You NEVER…… its not fair I can't ever……" <br />don't get into a power struggle by defending <br />YOUR position, hold steady and continue to validate,<br /> remember this does not mean that you are agreeing <br />with or condoning inappropriate behavior, you are <br />simply acknowledging that you can see through <br />your child's eyes.<br /><br />What separates you from your child is the knowing <br />that you have the capacity to not only see through <br />his eyes, you probably know what your child should <br />have done but you do not throw that at your child. <br />You have the capacity and the wisdom to ask your <br />child the right questions so that he can come to the <br />same wise conclusions.<br /><br />In this way you are not just acting calm you are <br />BEING a calm leader who responds to your child <br />like the wise adult that you are. All that you need <br />to know in the moment will come to you when <br />you practice connecting to your inner wisdom.<br /><br />Contact Melinda at:<br />http://lifepositivebydesign.com/contact.html<br />with your questions on calm leadership and I<br />would be happy to post them in the monthly <br />newsletter with a response.<br /><br />Blessings,<br />MelindaMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-86064255915152494152011-10-23T15:16:00.000-07:002011-10-23T15:27:23.785-07:00Advocating from a place of loveI recently had a phone coaching session with “Cynthia” who proved <br />that being a successful advocate for your child does not have to involve <br />frustration, fear and anger. <br /><br />Cynthia's son was having alot of problems with his grade 3 teacher;<br />they just did not seem to understand each other. "Tom" began acting <br />out in class and refused to focus on tasks. As a result she felt that <br />punishing him by separating him from the other students would <br />solve the "problem". <br /><br />Cynthia also began to look at Tom's behavior as a problem and her <br />feelings of frustration were pushing her to demand that Tom listen <br />to his teacher. <br /><br />Through our coaching conversations, Cynthia began to recognize <br />Tom's learning style and with a few techniques, she opened the <br />door to Tom's world and gained powerful insight to the root <br />of his behavior. Cynthia could have challenged the teacher <br />and taken the route of "mother bear", instead she opted to <br />go the conscious parenting route with amazing results. <br /><br />By engaging the teacher with questions and with her intention <br />set at working together with the school to help Tom find his <br />"place" Cynthia navigated her way to success. With <br />perseverance and a heart centred approach that demonstrated <br />to everyone involved that she was committed to helping <br />her son and that she was inviting the school to support her <br />efforts - she was able to work with the teacher and principle <br />in a co-creative effort that supported Tom's learning style. <br /><br />This led to Tom's behavior transformation from <br />"troublesome" to trouble free.<br /><br />Tom was being "heard" and appreciated. His mother made the <br />effort and connected with her inner guidance to lead the school <br />and her son to a place of balance that worked for the school <br />and supported her son.<br /><br />Being a successful advocate requires that you trust your instincts, <br />listen deeply to the messages your child is giving you, verbal <br />and non verbal, ask questions that create connections and be <br />willing to work with the school in a co-creative effort.<br />When the principle and teacher involved felt Cynthia's confidence, <br />clarity and willingness to work towards a solution, the path that <br />lead to exactly what Tom needed began to unfold. <br /><br />Cynthia, who made the choice to be a conscious parent, <br />began to see the opportunities not the obstacles and allowed <br />her inner wisdom to lead the way. It always amazes me that with <br />the right intention, with unwavering focus and with love, out of <br />nothing and no way, we can find a way.<br /><br />With love and light<br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-73936207124510443662011-09-18T07:54:00.000-07:002011-12-31T18:09:07.718-08:00Unlocking Unconscious PatternsHave you ever caught yourself saying something <br />to your child and remarking to yourself,<br />"That sounded exactly like my mom (my dad)". <br />Sometimes this is followed by a chuckle<br />because we are reflecting the comfort and <br />nurturing that we have experienced from <br />the way that we were parented, other <br />times we are mortified because we've <br />repeated a way of being that we swore <br />as young adults, we would never adopt.<br /> <br />Right or wrong, good or bad is a lot <br />less important than becoming aware <br />of unconscious patterns. The more <br />aware we become the easier it gets <br />to make choices in the moment<br />that reflect who we want to be.<br /><br />When we parent unconsciously, we are <br />parenting in "reactive" mode. When "hot" <br />buttons are pushed that cause parents <br />to either react intensely or to withdraw <br />completely, there is an indication here <br />that there is a potential for growth <br />present. Your child has just helped you<br />to identify a pattern or an issue that <br />brings forward something that is important <br />or painful or both.<br /><br />I remember telling my daughter one Friday <br />evening as we were grocery shopping that I would<br />be going to a seminar on the following Saturday <br />and that her favorite babysitter would be with<br />her for most of the afternoon. My daughter paused, <br />then looked at me with tears in her eyes and in the <br />most heartbreaking little voice she told me that <br />she was feeling very sad because she missed me and <br />she just wanted to be with mommy - then she began <br />to cry softly. I got down on my hands and knees in <br />the parking lot and looked her in the eye and <br />I could feel my entire being become overwhelmed <br />with pity and empathy and I felt a deeply distraught <br />feeling in the pit of my stomach. <br /><br />I pulled myself together in that moment and made <br />a conscious choice to be fully present in the moment.<br />I recognized, painfully, in that very moment, <br />I was on the verge of projecting one of my childhood <br />experiences onto my daughter, seeing her <br />as myself feeling alone, scared and vulnerable. <br />I decided to pull back on the emotional onslaught <br />and simply to relate to this child in front of me, <br />dealing with this situation, in this moment.<br /> <br />I proceeded to mirror what she was expressing so <br />that she would know that I was listening, I then<br />validated her feelings and we proceeded to find <br />a way to climb up the emotional ladder together<br />by recognizing that we were together in the moment <br />and that we would not waste this moment with <br />unhappy thoughts of the "projected" future. <br /><br />Gradually, my daughter eased out of her sadness<br />and fear and we had a really great evening, not <br />to mention she had a fabulous time with the<br />babysitter the next day.<br /> <br />Our feelings are our most sophisticated guidance <br />sensors. If we can stop in the moment and pay <br />attention to our feelings, we can become aware <br />of what we are creating in any given moment. <br />Being in alignment with the positive things <br />that we wish to have or achieve means that we <br />need to generate positive feelings that allow <br />the receiving of that which we would<br />like to manifest. Creating habitual patterns <br />within your family dynamic that resonate with<br />peace, joy, love or exhiliration, places you <br />and your family in alignment with your natural<br />state of being.<br /> <br />Practicing conscious behavior and recognizing <br />patterns that present a golden opportunity for<br />growth, will naturally bring about a gradual <br />state of expanding consciousness. The more that<br />your consciousness expands and the more you <br />practice becoming aligned with the harmony, <br />peace,love, joy, etc. that you desire, the <br />faster you will understand the power that <br />you have, that is deliberate and joyous creation <br />as opposed to creating randomly by default.<br /> <br />Whether we believe it or not, accept it or not, <br />like it or not, we are the creators of our <br />experience. We are the creators of that which <br />we call our life situations. What is it that <br />we are focusing our attention on? That which <br />we desire or the lack of it? <br />What are our dominant thoughts?<br /><br />When our buttons are being pushed, what is <br />the drama that takes place inside of us? <br />Who are we relating to? Are we in the moment <br />or is there something in the background <br />that we are trying so hard to defend or justify?<br /> <br />Our beautiful, precious children have <br />"something on us" that other people in our <br />lives do not. The ability to push our buttons <br />like no one else. We can choose to see this <br />as a tremendous opportunity for growth and <br />healing. The next time you hear yourself <br />saying something your mom (or dad) would <br />say that does not please you, smile to <br />yourself with love and forgiveness and <br />embrace the opportunity in front of you.<br /> <br />In love and light,<br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-40273861087750433352011-07-13T07:10:00.000-07:002011-07-13T07:16:27.609-07:00Children and AffirmationsAffirmations are powerful, positive statements <br />about who we are and what we would like to <br />create for ourselves. They help us focus <br />on what we want. The most effective <br />affirmations evoke positive emotions <br />within us. The key is to create affirmations <br />that are believable and that feel good to you.<br /> <br />Using positive affirmations can assist <br />your child when s/he gets caught in a <br />negative state of mind. Teaching your <br />child to raise her vibrational level <br />and move past a negative emotion in <br />a constructive way by focusing on <br />a positive thought will greatly add <br />to her ability to detach herself from <br />creating and perpetuating negative patterns.<br /> <br />The faster that this becomes a habit, <br />the faster your child will be able to <br />master control over what she chooses <br />to create with her thoughts.<br /> <br />Re-inforcing positive thoughts and beliefs <br />gives children the self confidence<br />which will help them to attract joyful <br />and beneficial experiences.<br /> <br />When teaching your child to create <br />affirmations, keep it simple and clear <br />and make sure it is an affirmation that <br />they are comfortable with. Let the source <br />of the affirmation come from them. Also <br />keep in mind that the affirmation should <br />be stated "as if" it is already so.<br /> <br />For example: " I am a good listener." <br />Not "I will be a good listener." <br />"I will," suggests something that will <br />happen in the future and in the future is <br />where it will stay! You want to create <br />in the now.<br /> <br />Lead by example. Allow your child to hear <br />you using your own affirmations on a daily <br />basis. It has been proven that children <br />learn and model their behavior by watching <br />the behavior of their primary caregiver. <br />In other words, 95% of the time they will <br />do as you do and 5% of the time they will <br />do as you say! It is worth it to become <br />very mindful of that.<br /> <br />Here are sample affirmations<br />to give you a few ideas:<br /> <br />I make friends easily<br />I am lovable<br />I am a good listener<br />I am calm<br />I feel happy<br />I am free and wonderful<br />I can choose how I feel<br />I am grateful<br />I can make my dreams come true<br />I am perfect exactly as I am<br />I am loved<br />I am safe<br />I am patient<br />I can create a great day for myself<br />I am good enough<br />I can think things through<br />I learn new things easily<br />I am creative<br />I am joyful<br />I get along well with others<br />I am easy going<br /> <br />If your child is having a particular <br />problem, help him to formulate an <br />affirmation that will empower him <br />and that will help him focus on the <br />solution and the outcome that is <br />in his best interest.<br /> <br />Working with affirmations together <br />with your child is a powerful and <br />uplifting exercise. Try it today <br />and watch the magic begin to unfold!Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-44018686541581632782011-05-14T19:51:00.000-07:002011-05-14T19:58:47.691-07:00Making gratitude a part of your familyLiving a life that resonates with gratitude <br />is challenging for most adults. Now how about<br />we throw in teaching gratitude effectively <br />to our children on a daily basis? Impossible?<br /><br />As you may have guessed already "impossible <br />is nothing, imagination is everything!" <br /> <br />The first step in this process is to emulate <br />gratitude yourself, first and foremost. <br />Our behavior shapes the attitudes and habits <br />of our children and it is critical that <br />they witness parents practicing ways of <br />being that resonate with gratitude.<br /><br />I have found that keeping it light and fun <br />is one of the best ways to teach children <br />core beliefs that are infused with abundant <br />positivity.<br /> <br />When my daughter is in a receptive mood <br />(not when she is absorbed with drawing, <br />homework or any other activity), I ask <br />her to tell me one thing that she is <br />grateful for today. I then have<br />my turn and give her an example of <br />something that I am grateful for today. <br /><br />There is no wrong answer. Whatever <br />your child feels thankful for in that <br />moment (his stuffed animal, the cookies <br />he had for desert, his favorite cartoon, <br />etc.) is perfect, as he is beginning to <br />understand the idea of being happy with <br />something he has experienced or received. <br /><br />Practice this on a daily basis and you <br />will see that your child will start <br />asking you what you are grateful for.<br /> <br />It is important not to be preachy about <br />this - preaching falls on deaf ears. <br />The key is to make it fun and interesting <br />and to get your child to think about gratitude. <br />This process will take years to develop into <br />a deep seated way of being, but by beginning <br />early on, you are planting the seeds that <br />will develop into powerful positive practices <br />that will help your child to attract positive<br />energy into her life.<br /> <br />Gratitude is one of the most important <br />components of attracting positive energy <br />into your life. It clears away the cobwebs <br />that complaining leaves behind and opens <br />up a space for creating extraordinary <br />possibility and change.<br /> <br />Children are very receptive and open to <br />gratitude when they feel it coming from <br />their parents in a genuine manner. <br />If you happen to be going for a walk <br />in the park one day with your child, <br />for example, take your time to really <br />notice all that is going on around you <br />in the moment and feel gratitude for <br /><br />a simple, beautiful day. <br />Any time you can bring yourself fully <br />into the moment and appreciate the joy <br />in what you are doing, simply express <br />it with gratitude in front of your child.<br /> <br />Your child is watching and learning. <br />Teach her that there are not only endless <br />things butwonderful feelings to be <br />grateful for.<br /> <br />Practice saying things like, <br />"I feel so lucky that...", <br />"I am so happy and grateful for...", <br />"It is so wonderful that we can..."<br /><br />You will begin to notice your child <br />mimicking your behavior. Don't become<br />frustrated if this doesn't happen overnight. <br />be patient and know that the message is <br />getting across. Allow your child the <br />space to process gratitude without <br />pushing or controlling.<br /> <br />To inspire a belief system is infinitely <br />more effective then demanding one into being. <br />Respect your child's scope of understanding <br />and his unique way of learning as he creates <br />his own masterpiece.<br /> <br />With love and light,<br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-70692685825965042622011-04-01T07:43:00.000-07:002011-04-01T07:44:24.083-07:00Become The Believing Eyes For Your ChildrenEncouraging your children to succeed<br />and to go forward in life with confidence<br />is beautiful. I would like to invite you<br />to take that encouragement to the next<br />level.<br /> <br />By becoming the believing eyes for your<br />children, they begin to see a reflection<br />of what they can accomplish through<br />your belief in them. At a deeper level,<br />they realize that your belief in them<br />speaks to who they are becoming as<br />evolving human beings.<br /> <br />"I believe in you", is a powerful statement.<br />It acknowledges that you are speaking<br />to the inner core of your child.<br /> <br />"I believe in you", is deeper than,<br />I believe you can do this or that.<br />It is a statement that focuses not on<br />what a child is doing at the moment<br />but who he is being.<br /> <br />I once heard someone say, "We are<br />human beings not human doings!"<br />My reaction to that was..."How<br />perfectly true."<br /> <br />Let your children know that you are<br />there for them, in the front row, cheering<br />them on with the power of your believing.<br /> <br />Say it loud, say it often, "I believe in you,<br />I believe in me and I believe in us."Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-34245061627732861392011-03-03T10:47:00.000-08:002011-03-03T10:58:54.061-08:00Exercise and your child's brainExercise plays a vital role in the healthy <br />development of your child's brain.<br /><br />Physical activity stimulates brain growth in much <br />the same way that it causes muscles to develop. <br />Through physical exercise, nerve cells are activated <br />in the brain which stimulates the creation of new <br />neurological pathways. The brain grows as these <br />pathways are developed. The greater the pathways, <br />the greater the brain's capacity to hold, understand <br />and process information. <br /><br />As well as strengthening the growing body, physical <br />activity builds the motor control centers in the brain <br />contributing to the healthy maturation of muscle <br />coordination and the sensory-motor system.<br /><br />When we understand just a little about how important <br />it is to nurture and expand the cerebral cortex, the part <br />of the brain that is responsible for higher thinking, <br />self-regulation and creative thinking to name a few <br />functions, we recognize how important it is to incorporate <br />physical activity into our family culture.<br /><br />We are all aware of the negative effects of stress on <br />adults - stress affects children in a negative way as well. <br />Children encounter a multitude of stresses ranging from <br />peer pressure to keeping up with homework and high grades, <br />to simple stresses they feel as they socialize. <br /><br />Remember when your five year old hears, <br />"I don't want to be your friend", in the heat of the moment, <br />this becomes a very big deal in her mind. Why? because <br />she believes that someone she has bonded with will be <br />gone from her forever. She does not have the capacity <br />to understand that this is a temporary reaction. <br />This causes stress. <br /><br />Exercise has a tremendous ability to disengage stored <br />emotions and stress that are being held by the body. <br />Eventually, the mind relaxes to a place of ease with the <br />release of endorphins through physical exercise. <br />The body will always follow the mind. When the mind is <br />calm, the body relaxes. When the body relaxes clear <br />thinking is much easier.<br /><br />As exercise contributes to the healthy maturation of <br />the cerebral cortex, it also contributes to your child's <br />ability to remain calm and focused when challenged <br />because she is training her higher brain function to <br />be in charge of her lower brain functions which are <br />responsible for the fight/flight reactions. When your <br />child hears, "I don't want to be your friend," this doesn't<br /> need to escalate into a meltdown as your child learns <br />to respond (higher brain function) rather than react <br />(Lower brain, fight/flight ).<br /><br />A child that spends more time being active and less <br />time in passive states, such as watching TV or playing <br />video games has a better chance of developing more <br />neural pathways and increasing the capacity of her <br />higher brain function. A child that is ruled by lower <br />brain functions is quick to react or over react, has <br />minimal capacity to self soothe, is more aggressive, <br />has difficulty concentrating and her problem solving <br />skills are lacking.<br /><br />When we keep our kids moving, exploring and energized <br />in a balanced way, we are helping them on so many levels. <br />When we take that extra step and participate in physical <br />activities with them, everyone wins.<br /><br />With love and light,<br />MelindaMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-59868128432040242202011-01-15T19:13:00.000-08:002011-01-15T19:21:04.630-08:00The Practice of Trusting Your ChildTrusting your child means giving him the space to "be". <br />To practice trusting your child is a difficult exercise <br />at times because, as parents, we are conditioned to be <br />on the lookout for what can go wrong.<br /> <br />This way of thinking is fear based. The challenge this <br />month is to transform fear based thoughts and feelings <br />into love based thoughts and feelings.<br /> <br />This does not mean that we behave irresponsibly as we <br />guide our children. It means that we explore where our<br />thoughts are pre-dominantly rooted in fear.<br /> <br />See if you can practice trusting that your child knows <br />his limits. You may be surprised at how connected your<br />child actually is to his intuition.<br /> <br />Instead of saying, "Be careful, you WILL fall or get <br />hurt", you can try, "Take care of yourself and be aware <br />of what is around you."<br /> <br />Be present to your inner guidance which will signal you <br />if there is in fact, real potential danger that needs <br />to be addressed.<br /><br />Instead of bringing your child's attention to the "bad" <br />things that may happen, focus on guiding him to be aware <br />of what is going on around him. <br /> <br />Show your child what it looks like to be fully awake, so <br />to speak, so that he can pay attention to the details of <br />his surroundings.<br /> <br />For example: When I rollerblade with my daughter, I bring <br />her awareness to what is not only in front of her but <br />all around her.<br /> <br />I say things like, "Listen to the sounds all around you, <br />feel the road underfoot." As she is easily distracted <br />by thoughts that take her attention away from the moment,<br />I gently bring her attention to what is happening all <br />around her right now. With this practice, as we play <br />and have fun, she is learning to be fully awake in the<br />present moment.<br /> <br />This also leaves little room for complaining or worrying, <br />since her full attention is given to what is happening <br />right now. <br /> <br />With older children, informing them of certain risks <br />and dangers is not the same as inundating them with <br />endless stories of what can go wrong.<br /> <br />Express your concerns in an authentic way and share <br />with them how you have used your inner guidance to <br />direct you in your life.<br /> <br />Encourage them to trust their instincts and empower <br />them with the confidence to say, "no" when required. <br />Teach them the difference between, "no" that is filled<br />with fear and "no" that is an expression<br />of calm assertiveness.<br /> <br />To respect yourself is to honor your inner guidance. <br /> <br />Give your child the freedom to learn from mistakes <br />and the guidance to know when to walk away from <br />real danger. <br /> <br />Real trust is something many of us felt fully as <br />children. As we grow up and grow into a fear based <br />world, we turn away from trust. <br /> <br />As a conscious parent, reconnect to the trust within <br />you, it is there. The innate wisdom within you will <br />always lead you in the right direction. You cannot <br />access this wisdom through fear.<br /> <br />Your practice it to also trust that at the core, <br />beyond the superficial beliefs that you have about <br />yourself, you are unique, you are special and, best <br />of all, you are a divinely inspired creative human being. <br /><br />With love and light<br />MelindaMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-1960861947326962142010-12-20T10:34:00.000-08:002010-12-20T10:35:34.132-08:00Getting Re-Connected, Take Some Time To Feel The MagicWith all the hustle and bustle of the holidays it is easy to feel<br />overwhelmed and stressed at times. As we know, stress can<br />be very counter productive to any positive shift that we are<br />trying to create in our lives.<br /> <br />I would like to invite you to take some time for yourself, just<br />a few minutes a day, to get re-connected with your heart center.<br />By doing so, you give yourself an opportunity to breathe deeply<br />and get back to a place of peace within.<br /> <br />Here is a simple meditative exercise that can help you reconnect<br />and you can do it virtually anywhere:<br /> <br />Place your hand over your heart and inhale deeply, as you<br />do imagine that you are going inside your heart, as though<br />your heart were a beautiful room full of light. Exhale, and release<br />all tension as you connect to that space within your heart.<br /> <br />Repeat about 10-15 times. <br /> <br />This simple yet profound exercise, will help you to center yourself<br />and will reconnect you to your inner peace.<br /> <br />The practice of meditation is a way to go deeper into ourselves<br />beyond the realm of the mind. It is like a doorway into the energy<br />flow of life. It helps us to awaken from the deep sleep of endless<br />mind activity into a space above and beyond the demands of<br />everyday experience. The only way for this to really make<br />sense, is to give it a try.<br /> <br />This simple little meditation can easily be taught to children,<br />thus giving them the opportunity and space to reconnect with<br />their inner selves.<br /> <br />As we know, children also need time to recharge and regenerate<br />especially after a day at school. This simple practice is very<br />beneficial in calming a child that has been exposed all day to<br />various energies.<br /> <br />If you've been really busy lately, give yourself the opportunity to<br />experience the magic of the holidays through the joy and<br />wonder of your child's experience at this time. In other words,<br />reconnect the magic between you and your child. Let your child<br />lead the way, just follow with your heart.<br /> <br />Invite your child to bake with you, if that is your custom. Plan a date<br />with your child to watch a holiday movie together with popcorn.<br /> <br />The magic of the holidays should not pass by, lost inside the<br />burden of the 100 or so things that you need to get done. Find<br />some time to stop and look at the beauty around you.<br /> <br />Go for a walk with your child and just take a look at all the beautiful<br />colored lights decorating the many homes. Practice being present<br />to the feeling of the special energy of magic that is so evident at<br />this time.<br /> <br />Take a moment to cuddle with loved ones. Turn off all of the lights<br />except for the Christmas tree and let the feeling just be inside of you.<br /> <br />Feeling "connected" is a deep and basic human need. It originates<br />with the truth that, "separation is illusion, we are one". Assisting<br />your child to find ways to maintain a deep sense of connection<br />to his inner state of being is like providing him with a gift that he<br />can go back to over and over again throughout the course of<br />his life.<br /><br />Try to be acutely present, if you can, to all of the moments and<br />opportunities that arise that allow you to explore your connection<br />to yourself and your child(ren).<br /> <br />Things may go wrong, plans may change, however, try to hold<br />onto the notion that it is your EXPERIENCE that is meant to<br />take your life into the next level. It is your experience, not the<br />outcome that you seek, that brings you to a higher level of<br />consciousness. By giving up our attachments to outcomes,<br />we clear a space for the experience to guide us to our higher<br />purpose. Outcomes are fleeting and mutable, inner peace is<br />lasting and is always there for us to come home to.<br />We just have to choose it.<br /> <br />Consciously decide to think about what you appreciate about<br />the holiday season. Make a commitment to fully appreciate<br />your child's joy and all the blessings that you have in this moment.<br /> <br />Stop looking for obstacles and start looking for magic, and<br />you will find it.<br /> <br />May you have a joyful<br />and love filled holiday,<br /><br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-48093540257384027572010-12-12T14:35:00.000-08:002010-12-12T15:03:08.903-08:00When Parents are Too ControllingAs the pace of life seems to speed up, so do our expectations. <br />Sometimes, in our rush or stress driven culture we lose sight <br />of the fact that we are being set up to move faster and "do" more.<br /><br />Becoming more controlling with our children is a sort of <br />by-product of the energy of the culture that we are living into. <br />Before we know it, we have created patterns that are not exactly <br />in alignment with the kind of parents that we initially set out to be.<br /><br />Parents who are overly controlling hardly ever recognize this in <br />themselves. Becoming a conscious parent means that you are <br />now practicing listening to your words and watching your reactions. <br />This can be difficult when we've established a few patterns<br />that are counter-productive.<br /><br />Try to ask yourself, "How often do I jump in to help my child <br />out with a simple task that he is struggling to complete but <br />is just on the verge of “getting it?” <br /><br />How often do you step in to negotiate for your child <br />(in a situation where your child is learning to get along <br />with others in a social setting) instead of coaching or <br />guiding your child through a social challenge?<br /><br />When a child completes a task that is not as “perfect” <br />as his parent would like it to be and the parent is quick to <br />point this out, over and over again, the result tends to be <br />a child who develops the idea that there isn’t much point <br />to reaching for success. His “failure” to meet his parents <br />expectations overshadows his motivation to keep trying. <br />On the other end of the spectrum, he may be caught in <br />an endless struggle of trying to win his parents’ admiration <br />by over achieving.<br /><br />Over achieving and striving for excellence is fantastic, when <br />it is intrinsically motivated. When it is solely motivated by the <br />aching need to please another in order to feel worthy, it is not <br />coming from a place of strength and confidence. <br />It is coming from a feeling of lack. <br /><br />When conditions for admiration, love and kindness are <br />placed on our children, they are not given the opportunity to <br />figure out for themselves how amazing and unique they are. <br />They are too busy trying to please. <br /><br />Parents don’t do this consciously. That is why listening to and <br />watching yourself as a parent is an important part of instilling <br />confidence.<br /><br />When we become over controlling, for whatever reason, we <br />disempower our children and we lose a part of our connection <br />with them. No loving parent consciously chooses this. It just happens. <br />Recognizing it is the first step to transforming it.<br /><br />As we pay attention to the patterns that show up again and again, <br />we can begin to navigate towards a more heart centred way of parenting <br />by choosing to allow our children the space to find their own way <br />through our guidance.<br /><br />We can begin to acknowledge that instilling confidence will <br />provide our children with far more effective tools with which <br />to go into the world.<br /><br />At the end of the day, would you rather have it done "right" <br />whatever the cost or would you have it done in a space where <br />love and learning are present.Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-85399646483753238972010-10-13T17:29:00.000-07:002010-10-19T05:55:56.897-07:00Turn Off The TV Because I Love YouParents innately know that too much TV for a child, or anyone, <br />for that matter is not a good thing. Sometimes, we just need some <br />peace in order to cook dinner or take care of a task. In this respect, <br />the TV is very alluring for parents who are exhausted, overwhelmed <br />stressed or all three at the same time. <br /><br />Getting your children used to entertaining themselves without the <br />TV may prove to be less challenging than you think and it provides <br />a win-win situation for everyone.<br /><br />Here are a few things that you may not know about TV watching:<br /><br />TV is not relaxing, it is actually stimulating, but not in a way that is <br />useful for young minds. A young child needs to interact with people <br />and the world around him in order to develop healthy brain function.<br />Watching TV is passive stimulation, where the child is being bombarded <br />with fast paced editing that lends itself to being "zoned out".<br /><br />A brain needs habitual age appropriate mental challenges <br />for proper growth and stimulation.<br /><br />Researchers have found that popular baby videos designed to stimulate <br />vocabulary actually had more detrimental effects that positive ones. <br />Babies require face to face stimulation and interaction with a parent <br />in order to learn. TV or Video watching interferes with the way the<br />young brain begins to "hard-wire" itself.<br /><br />In order for the brain to develop optimally, a child needs to engage fully <br />in creative play that both challenges and inspires him to make full use <br />of the sensory data he is receiving. <br /><br />The 2D experience of TV watching robs your child of engaging in problem <br />solving, visual and cognitive strengthening as well as learning <br />important social skills.<br /><br />When a child does not have time set aside for introspection (playing alone, <br />or reading quietly) it is very difficult for him to get connected to a deeper <br />sense of self. With introspection comes getting to know your inner voice <br />and finding the wisdom within. It is a time to decompress and reflect. <br />Through this time of reflection a child has the chance to sort things <br />out and to discover his interior world.<br /><br />Research indicates that children's creativity and problem solving abilities <br />decline as they continue to watch TV and for longer periods of time. <br />A child's imagination is basically watered down when TV takes up <br />a few hours a day of their time.<br /><br />A few hours a day equals hundreds of hours a year.<br /><br />If a child is used to watching a certain amount of TV per day, cutting <br />him off "cold turkey" seems unreasonable and can lead to resentment.<br /><br />Here are a few ideas to help you with the transition from less <br />TV to more creative play:<br /><br />Ask interesting questions often that engage your child <br />and encourage her to think.<br /><br />Give your child an opportunity to play actively, using her whole body <br />as in swimming, gymnastics, soccer, etc.<br /><br />Start cutting back TV watching until there is no more than 1/2 hour <br />after school of screen time and one - two hours on weekends. <br /><br />Bring your child into the kitchen with you as you make dinner and have <br />her do her homework or an activity that she likes such as drawing, for example.<br /><br />Give your children creative and exciting projects that are aligned with <br />their interests and watch how engaged they become.<br /><br />Provide lots of positive feedback when your child has found ways <br />to play creatively.<br /><br />Remember that it is critical for you to remain consistent around your <br />rules about TV watching so that your children know what to expect.<br /><br />Withholding TV is not a punishment it is an act of claiming back the <br />direction that you want your child to grow towards. That direction is <br />positive creativity, active listening, creative thinking, inner reflection <br />for greater connection to inner wisdom and celebrating the uniqueness <br />that is "I".<br /><br />You may be amazed to find that once your child(ren) have become more <br />accustomed to discovering who they are and what they can do creatively,<br />without the TV, their demand for it begins to fall back. Your children begin <br />to dream big and live in their creativity which is the most natural thing <br />for them to do.Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-18309565582062464692010-09-06T14:44:00.000-07:002010-09-06T14:48:09.700-07:00Trust Your Inner WisdomSometimes as parents we neglect our<br />own inner wisdom because we have<br />forgotten to trust ourselves.<br /> <br />With so many opinions from friends,<br />family members and parenting books,<br />it is easy to get confused or worried<br />that we are not doing "the right thing".<br /> <br />Only you know how to parent your child<br />the way that is best for your child.<br />Opinions and advice are great as <br />inspiration or as a way to gain greater<br />awareness and understanding of your<br />beliefs and reactions. All the wisdom<br />that you need is already in you.<br /> <br />Only you have that special and sacred<br />connection with your child. Asking <br />for guidance with challenges is very<br />beneficial because it helps you to <br />see some things that you otherwise <br />may not have considered.<br /> <br />However, the ultimate and best guidance<br />will direct you towards your own inner<br />wisdom and support your goals as well<br />as positive change.<br /> <br />If you feel pressured to do something<br />because, "they say it is the right thing<br />to do", then it may not be right for you.<br /> <br />Trust your intuition and trust the signals<br />that you are getting from your child(ren).<br />When you get stuck, ask, research and<br />look for solutions, but remember to<br />take a deep breath and connect with your<br />own inner wisdom.<br /> <br />Ask yourself, what is the best course of<br />action for me to take right now regarding<br />this matter and feel the message that<br />your inspiration and inner wisdom is<br />sending you.<br /> <br />Help is always there for you, if you<br />are open to it. True help, stands beside<br />you shoulder to shoulder, supporting you<br />in a loving and compassionate way.<br /> <br />Everyone gets lost, stuck and exhausted<br />at times - you are not alone.<br /> <br />I love the beautiful words I heard from<br />The Reverend Dr. Michael Beckwith:<br /> <br />"Out of nothing and no way,<br />a way will be made".<br /> <br />Trust that you have the wisdom and the<br />power to create a beautiful life for<br />yourself and for your children.Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-22014114350877471112010-08-26T11:59:00.000-07:002010-08-26T12:29:11.710-07:00A Simple Technique To Change Your Entire Day!With everything going on, sometimes it is so hard <br />to just wake up in the morning feeling refreshed <br />and in a good mood.<br /><br />So often we don't even think about it, we are so <br />used to waking up feeling less than excited about<br />the new day that we are about to live into.<br /><br />Parents that are overtired, exhausted and burdened <br />with the long list of things that need to get done <br />are more likely to balk at the idea of waking up <br />feeling refreshed, let alone supercharged with <br />positive energy.<br /><br />Here is a suggestion on how to start your day a <br />bit differently that can make all the difference <br />in the world.<br /><br />About 15 minutes before you are about to get up, <br />try this simple technique:<br /><br />Sit comfortably in your bed take a few deep <br />breaths and focus your attention on your heart. <br />As you breath deeply, imagine a pure energy flowing <br />through and around you.<br /><br />Imagine that you are infusing this energy with<br />love and well being. Take your time as you<br />watch it all around you. Recognize it as <br />the energy of abundant joy, prosperity and<br />well being.<br /><br />Just feel it around you without trying to grasp<br />for it. Let it flow through you and let it open<br />your heart to a day that is filled with a never<br />ending stream of this energy.<br /><br />Now take a moment to think about one thing<br />that is working for you in your life. It <br />doesn't matter how small or in what area.<br />Really focus on that.<br /><br />Focus on the energy that is flowing around you<br />as it feeds and expands the areas in your life <br />that are working.<br /><br />Breath deeply. Now open your eyes and repeat:<br /><br />I am grateful for receiving abundant joy today<br /><br />I am grateful for receiving an abundance of <br />inspiration today<br /><br />I am grateful for the love that is expanding<br />my heart right now and all day today.<br /><br />Success with this exercise is determined by<br />how much you are willing to allow yourself to <br />let go and just feel the energy moving and <br />directing you.<br /><br />Practice this exercise every morning for the<br />next 30 days and you WILL notice a shift<br />take place in your life.Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-28167495957781099542010-07-29T07:59:00.000-07:002010-07-29T08:04:11.866-07:00A Few Tips On Instilling ConfidenceHere are a few suggestions to help you instill <br />a deeper sense of confidence in your child:<br /><br />Recognize the effort that is put forth from the <br />child and praise the effort. Put less emphasis <br />on the end result. <br /><br />Your child may have fallen short of excellence, <br />depending on one's perspective, but the effort <br />shows determination and courage which <br />is very positive.<br /><br />Encourage your child to find her special talent <br />and guide her to her level and perception <br />of perfecting it.<br /><br />Make it clear that failure opens up the door to <br />possibility. Through losing and making mistakes, <br />we can learn how to do things differently. <br />Failure teaches us what we want to avoid and <br />what we can do to achieve a more desirable <br />result the next time. Learning to overcome <br />obstacles in this way encourages children <br />to keep trying.<br /><br />Encourage children to try something new. <br />Support and comfort them if they do not <br />succeed without making it into a big deal. <br />Striving to overcome obstacles sometimes <br />takes persistence. Defeat means that you<br />just give up and never try. Show your child <br />that there is another way.<br /><br />Practice giving your child little reminders <br />that show your appreciation of her <br />accomplishments. <br /><br />Remain authentic with your encouragement. <br />Going overboard and praising every little <br />thing may lead your child to believe that <br />he needs constant praise and approval in <br />order to be accepted. He may conclude that <br />what makes him special, depends upon <br />what other people think of him. Feeling <br />worthy is then equated with<br />how much approval he can get.<br /><br />Provide appropriate borders for your child <br />and remain consistent. Children can feel <br />if you are afraid to say no to them and <br />they begin to believe that they can have <br />whatever they want because they demand it.<br />This does not provide them with an awareness <br />of the possibilities that they can create for <br />themselves later on in life.<br /><br />If your child is focused on his difficulties, <br />bring him back to focusing on his strengths. <br />Gently show him that difficulties help us<br /> find solutions and that a weakness can <br />be turned around into a strength.<br /><br />True confidence comes with an inner knowing<br />that we can succeed. When a perceived failure <br />arises, with confidence we find a way to recognize <br />opportunity and move through a situation by <br />discovering new ways of moving forward instead <br />of dwelling on a particularly negative event. <br /><br />The ability to take risk, the ability to act with <br />courage and the ability to attract a way through <br />a situation begins with the confidence in knowing <br />that we can.Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-91969916819814048522010-07-10T19:30:00.000-07:002010-07-10T19:54:08.533-07:00Coping With UncertaintyWe all know that children can feel<br />your energy even before you begin to<br />speak. When parents exude an energy<br />of confidence, not arrogance, their<br />children tend to feel it and respond with<br />feeling more secure and relaxed. They<br />feel safe, they can trust that you will be<br />the anchor in a storm.<br /> <br />What happens when we feel uncertain sometimes? <br />Should we pretend to be confident? <br />Should we cover up our uncertainty?<br /> <br />I have a suggestion; how about practicing<br />getting comfortable with the idea of<br />feeling confident in the face of uncertainty. <br />That sounds crazy and is a complete <br />contradiction, you might say!<br /> <br />Here is the idea explained: Instead of<br />pretending you know what you are doing<br />when a situation arises and you have<br />no idea how to handle it consciously,<br />focus on your ability to find your way.<br /> <br />First, accept that, in this moment, you<br />might be lost. Recognize that this is how<br />you are feeling right now, then shift your<br />thoughts to:<br /> <br />"Even though I feel lost and am not sure<br />what to do in this moment, I am open<br />to receiving inspiration and insight."<br /> <br />"I've resolved issues and challenges <br />in the past and I can do it again."<br /> <br />"I am grateful for receiving the solution<br />that is best for me and my child in this<br />situation."<br /> <br />When your intention is set in this way,<br />and you put energy into these new<br />empowering thoughts, you are giving<br />off a feeling of confidence.<br /> <br />You are confident that you will find a way<br />even though right now you are not sure<br />you know what that is.<br /><br />Instead of allowing uncertainty to pull<br />you into fear, which does not serve you,<br />you are creating a space for inspired,<br />right action to flow.<br /><br />Your child feels this confidence in you.<br />In this way you are also modeling, for<br />your child, how to handle uncertainty.<br /> <br />You are not responding with fear, you<br />are not pretending, and therefore being<br />inauthentic. You are confident in the<br />face of uncertainty.<br /><br />Moments of uncertainty instantly create<br />resistance in the form of fear and fear<br />increases insecurity. Letting go of fear<br />is easy to say and hard to do. When we <br />understand that holding onto the fear<br />only generates more of it, we will begin <br />to try something different.<br /><br />That something different is:<br />Letting go of the uncertainty that<br />has a grip on you and replace it with:<br /><br />"I am confident that I will be inspired<br />to do what is right for my family and I."<br /><br />"I am confident and grateful for the <br />inspiration I am receiving."<br /><br />In love and light<br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-34209802111795050632010-06-07T15:27:00.000-07:002010-06-07T16:06:36.340-07:00Asking questions that create connectionsParents are always asking their children questions. <br />Most of the time, due to hectic schedules and multi-tasking,<br />we are pre-occupied with the practical aspects of our lives. <br /><br />Sometimes we are so focused on the things that need to <br />get done, we forget how to ask questions that actually <br />encourage and inspire deeper connections with our children. <br /><br />Children always hear, "Did you finish your homework?", <br />"Did you clean up your room?", "Did you finish your chores?", <br />"What is the problem here?". There is nothing wrong with these <br />kinds of questions, unless there is nothing more substantial <br />to balance them out.<br /><br />Creating connections with your child is a great practice <br />that you can easily do everyday in a variety of ways. <br />What I propose is that you communicate in a light <br />hearted way that also is rich with depth. <br /><br />For example, when things are going great, ask <br />questions that inspire your child, questions that <br />belong to the reality of his world. If you can make <br />a habit of eating dinner together, as a family, on <br />a regular basis, how about you step away from the <br />typical, "Did you have a good day?" and ask questions <br />not only for the fun of it, but to share your thoughts <br />about things that bring forth responses that help <br />you see deeper into the world of your child.<br /><br />With young children I ask the question, much to their <br />delight, "If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?" <br />and "If you could do any activity imaginable in the world <br />right now where would you be and what would you do?" <br />Children love these questions because they belong in <br />the world of limitless possibility and engage creativity.<br /><br />With older children you can try, "What is the biggest <br />goal you have?" and "If you could make all fear <br />disappear what would you love to do?"<br /><br />Use your inner guidance and awareness of your <br />child to help inspire you to formulate questions <br />that move deeply into the creative energy of your child. <br /><br />If you start to sound like you are interrogating or <br />judging, your child will SHUT OFF. This is a process <br />that requires authentic inquiry and non judgemental listening. <br />Do not fall into the midset of providing solutions to what <br />you see as problems, when your child is sharing his thoughts. <br />Just be there.<br /><br />Encourage your child to ask you questions or answer <br />the very same question that you asked your child.<br /><br />Have fun with it. You may be surprised at what you will <br />discover about your child. Becoming authentically interested <br />makes you more interesting because you opening up to <br />creating deeper connections. You will find that somehow <br />your mind shifts out of your practical day to day experience <br />with your child, to an experience that is more focused on <br />being and less on doing.<br /><br />As your child grows and expands, your questions will <br />deepen, grounded in trust and rooted in authenticity.<br /><br />With joy,<br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-85578704133395650442010-05-14T05:45:00.000-07:002010-05-14T08:47:42.235-07:00The Truth About "Misbehavior"Misbehavior is a reaction that is born from the<br />unconscious mind in an attempt to vividly express,<br />"Why don't you see me?" It is an instantaneous<br />reflex that triggers a need to be understood,<br />to be seen and to be recognized.<br /><br />Disconnection is neither a comfortable nor a natural<br />state of being. Children that are feeling disconnected <br />from their parents generally display temporary <br />emotional outbursts. Sometimes an outburst is<br />also attributed to a surge of negative energy<br />that has been held onto for a length of time.<br /><br />When a child can no longer contain his hurts,<br />his fears, etc, there is a release of energy that<br />looks like a meltdown, temper tantrum or what<br />seems to be unreasonably "bad" behavior.<br /><br />Sometimes we can only see the manifestation of <br />the frustration or anger. We are not able, in that <br />moment, to go beyond our own reactions to our <br />children's "misbehavior".<br /><br />Basically there are 4 reasons, and combinations <br />thereof, as to why a child "misbehaves".<br />I use the term "misbehaves" loosely since<br />all misbehavior is a manifestation of pain <br />in some form.<br /><br />1) ATTENTION<br />The child seeks connection and does not <br />know how else to obtain it.<br /><br />2) POWER<br />The child holds the belief that, "I must <br />take from you in order to have". The concept, <br />"There is enough for both of us", is not clear. <br />This fear is rooted in feeling of lack.<br /><br />3) REVENGE<br />Deep seated resentment manifests in the form <br />of, "I will get you back for what you did to me", <br />and "It's not fair". The child feels deeply disrespected.<br /><br />4) FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY<br />A child holds the belief, "I just can't do it", and <br />"I am not good enough". The feeling of inadequacy <br />is painful and the outburst temporarily covers up <br />the pain in an attempt to regain control<br /><br />When misbehaviour arises, determiine what is going <br />on underneath and beyond what you see in front of <br />you. Use the above mentioned explanations as a guide <br />to assist you.<br /><br />Encouraging your child to express feelings is paramount. <br />In this way you can uncover together what the root of <br />the problem is.<br /><br />When conscious discipline is necessary, be mindful<br />of your tone of voice. Your position remains firm<br />and natural consequences can be carried out with<br />a tone of calm certainty in your voice. <br /><br />There is love behind your words. Your child can<br />hear and feel that. He may not like the natural<br />consequence that follows his choice of behavior<br />but something else is taking place at a deeper<br />level. He feels the love behind the words even<br />if he is not fully aware of it.<br /><br />As you consciously intend to guide your child<br />to appropriate action, you do so within a space <br />of compassion and authentic understanding.<br />This naturally strengthens your connection to <br />your child.<br /><br />You are acknowledging his "being".<br />You are saying to him, through your <br />conscious awareness, "I see you; I feel you."Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-75744658102428630452010-04-17T18:37:00.000-07:002010-04-17T19:26:24.930-07:00Addicted to thinkingAlmost all of us suffer from the chronic affliction of being addicted <br />to thinking. As parents, we are often overwhelmed with the million <br />things that have to get done. We plan, we create lists, we follow through <br />as best we can. Many people find it difficult to "shut off" the endless <br />repetition of their "mind talk". <br /><br />This, of course, makes it very difficult to be present in the moment <br />and to practice conscious parenting. How do we still the mind enough <br />to remain present as much as possible? How do we get everything <br />done without becoming lost in the storymaking and list creating of the mind?<br /><br />The mind is a beautiful thing, when it serves, not when it runs your life. <br />I have found that by creating habits, through diligent practice and <br />repetition, there is a way to multi task and still remain present and <br />aware. So many times I have longed for the evening so that I could go <br />to sleep and escape the incessant chatter of my mind going over <br />everything that needed to get done.<br /><br />I now have created a new habit that allows me to gain that sense <br />of peace wherever I am, regardless of the time of day. I shift my <br />attention into my heart. This allows me to access the intelligence <br />of the heart. I give myself permission to believe in my heart.<br /><br />This has proven to be a very useful exericise. I can now accomplish <br />many things in a single day and remain focused and present more <br />often than not.<br /><br />The mind needs nourishment, just like body does. <br />The question to ask your self is "what am I feeding my mind?" <br /><br />I began to watch what my focus of attention was on. <br />As soon as things became hectic and my mind started to race, <br />I brought my awareness back into my heart and started to <br />breathe deeply. I watched the feelings and the thoughts <br />and then did some housecleaning.<br /><br />This also works very well as typical situations arise in <br />day to day living. For example, getting stuck in traffic jams,<br />waiting in line at the bank when you are in a rush or when <br />your child is having a meltdown.<br /><br />The power within the heart is a self-empowered feeling, <br />it is different from sentimentality. It is a gateway <br />through which you can access your conscious presence.<br /><br />To get into that space, slow down for a moment and pay <br />close attention to what you are feeling. Really go into that <br />feeling and relax the mind. Identify what you are feeling <br />(do not analyze your thoughts or feelings), <br />for example; frustration, anger, feeling overwhelmed, <br />stress, etc. Now think of a replacement for that feeling. <br /><br />Focus on your heart and breath into it. As though you <br />are breathing through it. Imagine that you are breathing <br />your replacement feeling directly into your heart.<br /><br />This will actually shift the energy within your body and mind.<br />As a result you begin to create new emotional signatures that <br />you can anchor within yourself through practice and repetition.<br /><br />This is a powerful exercise and it will alleviate much of the "insanity" <br />of a mind that just won't be still. The wonderful thing is that you can <br />do it anywhere and at anytime. <br /><br />Shifting your focus in this way, puts your awareness "in charge" <br />so that your mind can do what it was designed to do; <br />solve problems, not create new ones.<br /><br />In love and light<br />Melinda AsztalosMelindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2685430162672488431.post-56113598150678500732010-03-03T09:59:00.000-08:002010-03-03T11:07:52.181-08:00The Power of Your Word<span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">I've decided to take the 30 day challenge on keeping my word</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">It has become so easy and so normal not to follow through on our word. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">No one thinks that much about it because almost everyone is so used </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">to not placing true value on the integrity of his/her word.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">It's important for me to inspire my daughter to recognize the </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">power of keeping one's word. I decided to take a 30 day challenge. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">In the next 30 days, I'm focusing intently on the conversations and </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">agreements that I make with my daughter. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">I love this practice because it keeps me on track and focused </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">in the present. Instead of rushing, it requires that I slow down a </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">bit and take each opportunity to watch the way that I speak to </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">my child and the degree of presence that I am experiencing </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">when listening to her.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Keeping your word means that you honor what you are saying. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">It means that you are thinking before speaking and so you do </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">not hastily make promises that you choose not to keep.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">People give less and less value to the power of their word. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">This directly relates to the level of integrity in one's life.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">I believe that when a child grows up in a home where </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">the parents' word means something, and can be counted on, </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">then a child is growing up getting the full benefit of experiencing </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">life with integrity.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">I would like to invite you to take the 30 day challenge with me.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">In the next 30 days make a point of keeping your word. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Practice saying what you mean and meaning what you say.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Be mindful and present to the promises and agreements that </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">you make with everyone in your life. Recognize that you are </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">your word and choose to remain true to yourself and your </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">commitment to your word.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Decide who you are going to be in the face of your inner </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">dialogue as well as your outward expression. Catch yourself </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">being inauthentic and make a conscious choice to live and </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">speak with authenticity.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">I find that this is a powerful exercise that will not only benefits </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">me on a very deep level, but it also opens a doorway to </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">transformation in my relationships with others.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Wishing you much joy and success</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);">Melinda</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><div><br /></div></div></div>Melindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03444717797893309257noreply@blogger.com0