Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Practice of Trusting Your Child

Trusting your child means giving him the space to "be".
To practice trusting your child is a difficult exercise
at times because, as parents, we are conditioned to be
on the lookout for what can go wrong.

This way of thinking is fear based. The challenge this
month is to transform fear based thoughts and feelings
into love based thoughts and feelings.

This does not mean that we behave irresponsibly as we
guide our children. It means that we explore where our
thoughts are pre-dominantly rooted in fear.

See if you can practice trusting that your child knows
his limits. You may be surprised at how connected your
child actually is to his intuition.

Instead of saying, "Be careful, you WILL fall or get
hurt", you can try, "Take care of yourself and be aware
of what is around you."

Be present to your inner guidance which will signal you
if there is in fact, real potential danger that needs
to be addressed.

Instead of bringing your child's attention to the "bad"
things that may happen, focus on guiding him to be aware
of what is going on around him.

Show your child what it looks like to be fully awake, so
to speak, so that he can pay attention to the details of
his surroundings.

For example: When I rollerblade with my daughter, I bring
her awareness to what is not only in front of her but
all around her.

I say things like, "Listen to the sounds all around you,
feel the road underfoot." As she is easily distracted
by thoughts that take her attention away from the moment,
I gently bring her attention to what is happening all
around her right now. With this practice, as we play
and have fun, she is learning to be fully awake in the
present moment.

This also leaves little room for complaining or worrying,
since her full attention is given to what is happening
right now.

With older children, informing them of certain risks
and dangers is not the same as inundating them with
endless stories of what can go wrong.

Express your concerns in an authentic way and share
with them how you have used your inner guidance to
direct you in your life.

Encourage them to trust their instincts and empower
them with the confidence to say, "no" when required.
Teach them the difference between, "no" that is filled
with fear and "no" that is an expression
of calm assertiveness.

To respect yourself is to honor your inner guidance.

Give your child the freedom to learn from mistakes
and the guidance to know when to walk away from
real danger.

Real trust is something many of us felt fully as
children. As we grow up and grow into a fear based
world, we turn away from trust.

As a conscious parent, reconnect to the trust within
you, it is there. The innate wisdom within you will
always lead you in the right direction. You cannot
access this wisdom through fear.

Your practice it to also trust that at the core,
beyond the superficial beliefs that you have about
yourself, you are unique, you are special and, best
of all, you are a divinely inspired creative human being.

With love and light

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