Here are a few suggestions to help you instill
a deeper sense of confidence in your child:
Recognize the effort that is put forth from the
child and praise the effort. Put less emphasis
on the end result.
Your child may have fallen short of excellence,
depending on one's perspective, but the effort
shows determination and courage which
is very positive.
Encourage your child to find her special talent
and guide her to her level and perception
of perfecting it.
Make it clear that failure opens up the door to
possibility. Through losing and making mistakes,
we can learn how to do things differently.
Failure teaches us what we want to avoid and
what we can do to achieve a more desirable
result the next time. Learning to overcome
obstacles in this way encourages children
to keep trying.
Encourage children to try something new.
Support and comfort them if they do not
succeed without making it into a big deal.
Striving to overcome obstacles sometimes
takes persistence. Defeat means that you
just give up and never try. Show your child
that there is another way.
Practice giving your child little reminders
that show your appreciation of her
Remain authentic with your encouragement.
Going overboard and praising every little
thing may lead your child to believe that
he needs constant praise and approval in
order to be accepted. He may conclude that
what makes him special, depends upon
what other people think of him. Feeling
worthy is then equated with
how much approval he can get.
Provide appropriate borders for your child
and remain consistent. Children can feel
if you are afraid to say no to them and
they begin to believe that they can have
whatever they want because they demand it.
This does not provide them with an awareness
of the possibilities that they can create for
themselves later on in life.
If your child is focused on his difficulties,
bring him back to focusing on his strengths.
Gently show him that difficulties help us
find solutions and that a weakness can
be turned around into a strength.
True confidence comes with an inner knowing
that we can succeed. When a perceived failure
arises, with confidence we find a way to recognize
opportunity and move through a situation by
discovering new ways of moving forward instead
of dwelling on a particularly negative event.
The ability to take risk, the ability to act with
courage and the ability to attract a way through
a situation begins with the confidence in knowing
that we can.