Living a life that resonates with gratitude
is challenging for most adults. Now how about
we throw in teaching gratitude effectively
to our children on a daily basis? Impossible?
As you may have guessed already "impossible
is nothing, imagination is everything!"
The first step in this process is to emulate
gratitude yourself, first and foremost.
Our behavior shapes the attitudes and habits
of our children and it is critical that
they witness parents practicing ways of
being that resonate with gratitude.
I have found that keeping it light and fun
is one of the best ways to teach children
core beliefs that are infused with abundant
positivity.
When my daughter is in a receptive mood
(not when she is absorbed with drawing,
homework or any other activity), I ask
her to tell me one thing that she is
grateful for today. I then have
my turn and give her an example of
something that I am grateful for today.
There is no wrong answer. Whatever
your child feels thankful for in that
moment (his stuffed animal, the cookies
he had for desert, his favorite cartoon,
etc.) is perfect, as he is beginning to
understand the idea of being happy with
something he has experienced or received.
Practice this on a daily basis and you
will see that your child will start
asking you what you are grateful for.
It is important not to be preachy about
this - preaching falls on deaf ears.
The key is to make it fun and interesting
and to get your child to think about gratitude.
This process will take years to develop into
a deep seated way of being, but by beginning
early on, you are planting the seeds that
will develop into powerful positive practices
that will help your child to attract positive
energy into her life.
Gratitude is one of the most important
components of attracting positive energy
into your life. It clears away the cobwebs
that complaining leaves behind and opens
up a space for creating extraordinary
possibility and change.
Children are very receptive and open to
gratitude when they feel it coming from
their parents in a genuine manner.
If you happen to be going for a walk
in the park one day with your child,
for example, take your time to really
notice all that is going on around you
in the moment and feel gratitude for
a simple, beautiful day.
Any time you can bring yourself fully
into the moment and appreciate the joy
in what you are doing, simply express
it with gratitude in front of your child.
Your child is watching and learning.
Teach her that there are not only endless
things butwonderful feelings to be
grateful for.
Practice saying things like,
"I feel so lucky that...",
"I am so happy and grateful for...",
"It is so wonderful that we can..."
You will begin to notice your child
mimicking your behavior. Don't become
frustrated if this doesn't happen overnight.
be patient and know that the message is
getting across. Allow your child the
space to process gratitude without
pushing or controlling.
To inspire a belief system is infinitely
more effective then demanding one into being.
Respect your child's scope of understanding
and his unique way of learning as he creates
his own masterpiece.
With love and light,
Melinda Asztalos
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Become The Believing Eyes For Your Children
Encouraging your children to succeed
and to go forward in life with confidence
is beautiful. I would like to invite you
to take that encouragement to the next
level.
By becoming the believing eyes for your
children, they begin to see a reflection
of what they can accomplish through
your belief in them. At a deeper level,
they realize that your belief in them
speaks to who they are becoming as
evolving human beings.
"I believe in you", is a powerful statement.
It acknowledges that you are speaking
to the inner core of your child.
"I believe in you", is deeper than,
I believe you can do this or that.
It is a statement that focuses not on
what a child is doing at the moment
but who he is being.
I once heard someone say, "We are
human beings not human doings!"
My reaction to that was..."How
perfectly true."
Let your children know that you are
there for them, in the front row, cheering
them on with the power of your believing.
Say it loud, say it often, "I believe in you,
I believe in me and I believe in us."
and to go forward in life with confidence
is beautiful. I would like to invite you
to take that encouragement to the next
level.
By becoming the believing eyes for your
children, they begin to see a reflection
of what they can accomplish through
your belief in them. At a deeper level,
they realize that your belief in them
speaks to who they are becoming as
evolving human beings.
"I believe in you", is a powerful statement.
It acknowledges that you are speaking
to the inner core of your child.
"I believe in you", is deeper than,
I believe you can do this or that.
It is a statement that focuses not on
what a child is doing at the moment
but who he is being.
I once heard someone say, "We are
human beings not human doings!"
My reaction to that was..."How
perfectly true."
Let your children know that you are
there for them, in the front row, cheering
them on with the power of your believing.
Say it loud, say it often, "I believe in you,
I believe in me and I believe in us."
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Exercise and your child's brain
Exercise plays a vital role in the healthy
development of your child's brain.
Physical activity stimulates brain growth in much
the same way that it causes muscles to develop.
Through physical exercise, nerve cells are activated
in the brain which stimulates the creation of new
neurological pathways. The brain grows as these
pathways are developed. The greater the pathways,
the greater the brain's capacity to hold, understand
and process information.
As well as strengthening the growing body, physical
activity builds the motor control centers in the brain
contributing to the healthy maturation of muscle
coordination and the sensory-motor system.
When we understand just a little about how important
it is to nurture and expand the cerebral cortex, the part
of the brain that is responsible for higher thinking,
self-regulation and creative thinking to name a few
functions, we recognize how important it is to incorporate
physical activity into our family culture.
We are all aware of the negative effects of stress on
adults - stress affects children in a negative way as well.
Children encounter a multitude of stresses ranging from
peer pressure to keeping up with homework and high grades,
to simple stresses they feel as they socialize.
Remember when your five year old hears,
"I don't want to be your friend", in the heat of the moment,
this becomes a very big deal in her mind. Why? because
she believes that someone she has bonded with will be
gone from her forever. She does not have the capacity
to understand that this is a temporary reaction.
This causes stress.
Exercise has a tremendous ability to disengage stored
emotions and stress that are being held by the body.
Eventually, the mind relaxes to a place of ease with the
release of endorphins through physical exercise.
The body will always follow the mind. When the mind is
calm, the body relaxes. When the body relaxes clear
thinking is much easier.
As exercise contributes to the healthy maturation of
the cerebral cortex, it also contributes to your child's
ability to remain calm and focused when challenged
because she is training her higher brain function to
be in charge of her lower brain functions which are
responsible for the fight/flight reactions. When your
child hears, "I don't want to be your friend," this doesn't
need to escalate into a meltdown as your child learns
to respond (higher brain function) rather than react
(Lower brain, fight/flight ).
A child that spends more time being active and less
time in passive states, such as watching TV or playing
video games has a better chance of developing more
neural pathways and increasing the capacity of her
higher brain function. A child that is ruled by lower
brain functions is quick to react or over react, has
minimal capacity to self soothe, is more aggressive,
has difficulty concentrating and her problem solving
skills are lacking.
When we keep our kids moving, exploring and energized
in a balanced way, we are helping them on so many levels.
When we take that extra step and participate in physical
activities with them, everyone wins.
With love and light,
Melinda
development of your child's brain.
Physical activity stimulates brain growth in much
the same way that it causes muscles to develop.
Through physical exercise, nerve cells are activated
in the brain which stimulates the creation of new
neurological pathways. The brain grows as these
pathways are developed. The greater the pathways,
the greater the brain's capacity to hold, understand
and process information.
As well as strengthening the growing body, physical
activity builds the motor control centers in the brain
contributing to the healthy maturation of muscle
coordination and the sensory-motor system.
When we understand just a little about how important
it is to nurture and expand the cerebral cortex, the part
of the brain that is responsible for higher thinking,
self-regulation and creative thinking to name a few
functions, we recognize how important it is to incorporate
physical activity into our family culture.
We are all aware of the negative effects of stress on
adults - stress affects children in a negative way as well.
Children encounter a multitude of stresses ranging from
peer pressure to keeping up with homework and high grades,
to simple stresses they feel as they socialize.
Remember when your five year old hears,
"I don't want to be your friend", in the heat of the moment,
this becomes a very big deal in her mind. Why? because
she believes that someone she has bonded with will be
gone from her forever. She does not have the capacity
to understand that this is a temporary reaction.
This causes stress.
Exercise has a tremendous ability to disengage stored
emotions and stress that are being held by the body.
Eventually, the mind relaxes to a place of ease with the
release of endorphins through physical exercise.
The body will always follow the mind. When the mind is
calm, the body relaxes. When the body relaxes clear
thinking is much easier.
As exercise contributes to the healthy maturation of
the cerebral cortex, it also contributes to your child's
ability to remain calm and focused when challenged
because she is training her higher brain function to
be in charge of her lower brain functions which are
responsible for the fight/flight reactions. When your
child hears, "I don't want to be your friend," this doesn't
need to escalate into a meltdown as your child learns
to respond (higher brain function) rather than react
(Lower brain, fight/flight ).
A child that spends more time being active and less
time in passive states, such as watching TV or playing
video games has a better chance of developing more
neural pathways and increasing the capacity of her
higher brain function. A child that is ruled by lower
brain functions is quick to react or over react, has
minimal capacity to self soothe, is more aggressive,
has difficulty concentrating and her problem solving
skills are lacking.
When we keep our kids moving, exploring and energized
in a balanced way, we are helping them on so many levels.
When we take that extra step and participate in physical
activities with them, everyone wins.
With love and light,
Melinda
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Practice of Trusting Your Child
Trusting your child means giving him the space to "be".
To practice trusting your child is a difficult exercise
at times because, as parents, we are conditioned to be
on the lookout for what can go wrong.
This way of thinking is fear based. The challenge this
month is to transform fear based thoughts and feelings
into love based thoughts and feelings.
This does not mean that we behave irresponsibly as we
guide our children. It means that we explore where our
thoughts are pre-dominantly rooted in fear.
See if you can practice trusting that your child knows
his limits. You may be surprised at how connected your
child actually is to his intuition.
Instead of saying, "Be careful, you WILL fall or get
hurt", you can try, "Take care of yourself and be aware
of what is around you."
Be present to your inner guidance which will signal you
if there is in fact, real potential danger that needs
to be addressed.
Instead of bringing your child's attention to the "bad"
things that may happen, focus on guiding him to be aware
of what is going on around him.
Show your child what it looks like to be fully awake, so
to speak, so that he can pay attention to the details of
his surroundings.
For example: When I rollerblade with my daughter, I bring
her awareness to what is not only in front of her but
all around her.
I say things like, "Listen to the sounds all around you,
feel the road underfoot." As she is easily distracted
by thoughts that take her attention away from the moment,
I gently bring her attention to what is happening all
around her right now. With this practice, as we play
and have fun, she is learning to be fully awake in the
present moment.
This also leaves little room for complaining or worrying,
since her full attention is given to what is happening
right now.
With older children, informing them of certain risks
and dangers is not the same as inundating them with
endless stories of what can go wrong.
Express your concerns in an authentic way and share
with them how you have used your inner guidance to
direct you in your life.
Encourage them to trust their instincts and empower
them with the confidence to say, "no" when required.
Teach them the difference between, "no" that is filled
with fear and "no" that is an expression
of calm assertiveness.
To respect yourself is to honor your inner guidance.
Give your child the freedom to learn from mistakes
and the guidance to know when to walk away from
real danger.
Real trust is something many of us felt fully as
children. As we grow up and grow into a fear based
world, we turn away from trust.
As a conscious parent, reconnect to the trust within
you, it is there. The innate wisdom within you will
always lead you in the right direction. You cannot
access this wisdom through fear.
Your practice it to also trust that at the core,
beyond the superficial beliefs that you have about
yourself, you are unique, you are special and, best
of all, you are a divinely inspired creative human being.
With love and light
Melinda
To practice trusting your child is a difficult exercise
at times because, as parents, we are conditioned to be
on the lookout for what can go wrong.
This way of thinking is fear based. The challenge this
month is to transform fear based thoughts and feelings
into love based thoughts and feelings.
This does not mean that we behave irresponsibly as we
guide our children. It means that we explore where our
thoughts are pre-dominantly rooted in fear.
See if you can practice trusting that your child knows
his limits. You may be surprised at how connected your
child actually is to his intuition.
Instead of saying, "Be careful, you WILL fall or get
hurt", you can try, "Take care of yourself and be aware
of what is around you."
Be present to your inner guidance which will signal you
if there is in fact, real potential danger that needs
to be addressed.
Instead of bringing your child's attention to the "bad"
things that may happen, focus on guiding him to be aware
of what is going on around him.
Show your child what it looks like to be fully awake, so
to speak, so that he can pay attention to the details of
his surroundings.
For example: When I rollerblade with my daughter, I bring
her awareness to what is not only in front of her but
all around her.
I say things like, "Listen to the sounds all around you,
feel the road underfoot." As she is easily distracted
by thoughts that take her attention away from the moment,
I gently bring her attention to what is happening all
around her right now. With this practice, as we play
and have fun, she is learning to be fully awake in the
present moment.
This also leaves little room for complaining or worrying,
since her full attention is given to what is happening
right now.
With older children, informing them of certain risks
and dangers is not the same as inundating them with
endless stories of what can go wrong.
Express your concerns in an authentic way and share
with them how you have used your inner guidance to
direct you in your life.
Encourage them to trust their instincts and empower
them with the confidence to say, "no" when required.
Teach them the difference between, "no" that is filled
with fear and "no" that is an expression
of calm assertiveness.
To respect yourself is to honor your inner guidance.
Give your child the freedom to learn from mistakes
and the guidance to know when to walk away from
real danger.
Real trust is something many of us felt fully as
children. As we grow up and grow into a fear based
world, we turn away from trust.
As a conscious parent, reconnect to the trust within
you, it is there. The innate wisdom within you will
always lead you in the right direction. You cannot
access this wisdom through fear.
Your practice it to also trust that at the core,
beyond the superficial beliefs that you have about
yourself, you are unique, you are special and, best
of all, you are a divinely inspired creative human being.
With love and light
Melinda
Monday, December 20, 2010
Getting Re-Connected, Take Some Time To Feel The Magic
With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays it is easy to feel
overwhelmed and stressed at times. As we know, stress can
be very counter productive to any positive shift that we are
trying to create in our lives.
I would like to invite you to take some time for yourself, just
a few minutes a day, to get re-connected with your heart center.
By doing so, you give yourself an opportunity to breathe deeply
and get back to a place of peace within.
Here is a simple meditative exercise that can help you reconnect
and you can do it virtually anywhere:
Place your hand over your heart and inhale deeply, as you
do imagine that you are going inside your heart, as though
your heart were a beautiful room full of light. Exhale, and release
all tension as you connect to that space within your heart.
Repeat about 10-15 times.
This simple yet profound exercise, will help you to center yourself
and will reconnect you to your inner peace.
The practice of meditation is a way to go deeper into ourselves
beyond the realm of the mind. It is like a doorway into the energy
flow of life. It helps us to awaken from the deep sleep of endless
mind activity into a space above and beyond the demands of
everyday experience. The only way for this to really make
sense, is to give it a try.
This simple little meditation can easily be taught to children,
thus giving them the opportunity and space to reconnect with
their inner selves.
As we know, children also need time to recharge and regenerate
especially after a day at school. This simple practice is very
beneficial in calming a child that has been exposed all day to
various energies.
If you've been really busy lately, give yourself the opportunity to
experience the magic of the holidays through the joy and
wonder of your child's experience at this time. In other words,
reconnect the magic between you and your child. Let your child
lead the way, just follow with your heart.
Invite your child to bake with you, if that is your custom. Plan a date
with your child to watch a holiday movie together with popcorn.
The magic of the holidays should not pass by, lost inside the
burden of the 100 or so things that you need to get done. Find
some time to stop and look at the beauty around you.
Go for a walk with your child and just take a look at all the beautiful
colored lights decorating the many homes. Practice being present
to the feeling of the special energy of magic that is so evident at
this time.
Take a moment to cuddle with loved ones. Turn off all of the lights
except for the Christmas tree and let the feeling just be inside of you.
Feeling "connected" is a deep and basic human need. It originates
with the truth that, "separation is illusion, we are one". Assisting
your child to find ways to maintain a deep sense of connection
to his inner state of being is like providing him with a gift that he
can go back to over and over again throughout the course of
his life.
Try to be acutely present, if you can, to all of the moments and
opportunities that arise that allow you to explore your connection
to yourself and your child(ren).
Things may go wrong, plans may change, however, try to hold
onto the notion that it is your EXPERIENCE that is meant to
take your life into the next level. It is your experience, not the
outcome that you seek, that brings you to a higher level of
consciousness. By giving up our attachments to outcomes,
we clear a space for the experience to guide us to our higher
purpose. Outcomes are fleeting and mutable, inner peace is
lasting and is always there for us to come home to.
We just have to choose it.
Consciously decide to think about what you appreciate about
the holiday season. Make a commitment to fully appreciate
your child's joy and all the blessings that you have in this moment.
Stop looking for obstacles and start looking for magic, and
you will find it.
May you have a joyful
and love filled holiday,
Melinda Asztalos
overwhelmed and stressed at times. As we know, stress can
be very counter productive to any positive shift that we are
trying to create in our lives.
I would like to invite you to take some time for yourself, just
a few minutes a day, to get re-connected with your heart center.
By doing so, you give yourself an opportunity to breathe deeply
and get back to a place of peace within.
Here is a simple meditative exercise that can help you reconnect
and you can do it virtually anywhere:
Place your hand over your heart and inhale deeply, as you
do imagine that you are going inside your heart, as though
your heart were a beautiful room full of light. Exhale, and release
all tension as you connect to that space within your heart.
Repeat about 10-15 times.
This simple yet profound exercise, will help you to center yourself
and will reconnect you to your inner peace.
The practice of meditation is a way to go deeper into ourselves
beyond the realm of the mind. It is like a doorway into the energy
flow of life. It helps us to awaken from the deep sleep of endless
mind activity into a space above and beyond the demands of
everyday experience. The only way for this to really make
sense, is to give it a try.
This simple little meditation can easily be taught to children,
thus giving them the opportunity and space to reconnect with
their inner selves.
As we know, children also need time to recharge and regenerate
especially after a day at school. This simple practice is very
beneficial in calming a child that has been exposed all day to
various energies.
If you've been really busy lately, give yourself the opportunity to
experience the magic of the holidays through the joy and
wonder of your child's experience at this time. In other words,
reconnect the magic between you and your child. Let your child
lead the way, just follow with your heart.
Invite your child to bake with you, if that is your custom. Plan a date
with your child to watch a holiday movie together with popcorn.
The magic of the holidays should not pass by, lost inside the
burden of the 100 or so things that you need to get done. Find
some time to stop and look at the beauty around you.
Go for a walk with your child and just take a look at all the beautiful
colored lights decorating the many homes. Practice being present
to the feeling of the special energy of magic that is so evident at
this time.
Take a moment to cuddle with loved ones. Turn off all of the lights
except for the Christmas tree and let the feeling just be inside of you.
Feeling "connected" is a deep and basic human need. It originates
with the truth that, "separation is illusion, we are one". Assisting
your child to find ways to maintain a deep sense of connection
to his inner state of being is like providing him with a gift that he
can go back to over and over again throughout the course of
his life.
Try to be acutely present, if you can, to all of the moments and
opportunities that arise that allow you to explore your connection
to yourself and your child(ren).
Things may go wrong, plans may change, however, try to hold
onto the notion that it is your EXPERIENCE that is meant to
take your life into the next level. It is your experience, not the
outcome that you seek, that brings you to a higher level of
consciousness. By giving up our attachments to outcomes,
we clear a space for the experience to guide us to our higher
purpose. Outcomes are fleeting and mutable, inner peace is
lasting and is always there for us to come home to.
We just have to choose it.
Consciously decide to think about what you appreciate about
the holiday season. Make a commitment to fully appreciate
your child's joy and all the blessings that you have in this moment.
Stop looking for obstacles and start looking for magic, and
you will find it.
May you have a joyful
and love filled holiday,
Melinda Asztalos
Sunday, December 12, 2010
When Parents are Too Controlling
As the pace of life seems to speed up, so do our expectations.
Sometimes, in our rush or stress driven culture we lose sight
of the fact that we are being set up to move faster and "do" more.
Becoming more controlling with our children is a sort of
by-product of the energy of the culture that we are living into.
Before we know it, we have created patterns that are not exactly
in alignment with the kind of parents that we initially set out to be.
Parents who are overly controlling hardly ever recognize this in
themselves. Becoming a conscious parent means that you are
now practicing listening to your words and watching your reactions.
This can be difficult when we've established a few patterns
that are counter-productive.
Try to ask yourself, "How often do I jump in to help my child
out with a simple task that he is struggling to complete but
is just on the verge of “getting it?”
How often do you step in to negotiate for your child
(in a situation where your child is learning to get along
with others in a social setting) instead of coaching or
guiding your child through a social challenge?
When a child completes a task that is not as “perfect”
as his parent would like it to be and the parent is quick to
point this out, over and over again, the result tends to be
a child who develops the idea that there isn’t much point
to reaching for success. His “failure” to meet his parents
expectations overshadows his motivation to keep trying.
On the other end of the spectrum, he may be caught in
an endless struggle of trying to win his parents’ admiration
by over achieving.
Over achieving and striving for excellence is fantastic, when
it is intrinsically motivated. When it is solely motivated by the
aching need to please another in order to feel worthy, it is not
coming from a place of strength and confidence.
It is coming from a feeling of lack.
When conditions for admiration, love and kindness are
placed on our children, they are not given the opportunity to
figure out for themselves how amazing and unique they are.
They are too busy trying to please.
Parents don’t do this consciously. That is why listening to and
watching yourself as a parent is an important part of instilling
confidence.
When we become over controlling, for whatever reason, we
disempower our children and we lose a part of our connection
with them. No loving parent consciously chooses this. It just happens.
Recognizing it is the first step to transforming it.
As we pay attention to the patterns that show up again and again,
we can begin to navigate towards a more heart centred way of parenting
by choosing to allow our children the space to find their own way
through our guidance.
We can begin to acknowledge that instilling confidence will
provide our children with far more effective tools with which
to go into the world.
At the end of the day, would you rather have it done "right"
whatever the cost or would you have it done in a space where
love and learning are present.
Sometimes, in our rush or stress driven culture we lose sight
of the fact that we are being set up to move faster and "do" more.
Becoming more controlling with our children is a sort of
by-product of the energy of the culture that we are living into.
Before we know it, we have created patterns that are not exactly
in alignment with the kind of parents that we initially set out to be.
Parents who are overly controlling hardly ever recognize this in
themselves. Becoming a conscious parent means that you are
now practicing listening to your words and watching your reactions.
This can be difficult when we've established a few patterns
that are counter-productive.
Try to ask yourself, "How often do I jump in to help my child
out with a simple task that he is struggling to complete but
is just on the verge of “getting it?”
How often do you step in to negotiate for your child
(in a situation where your child is learning to get along
with others in a social setting) instead of coaching or
guiding your child through a social challenge?
When a child completes a task that is not as “perfect”
as his parent would like it to be and the parent is quick to
point this out, over and over again, the result tends to be
a child who develops the idea that there isn’t much point
to reaching for success. His “failure” to meet his parents
expectations overshadows his motivation to keep trying.
On the other end of the spectrum, he may be caught in
an endless struggle of trying to win his parents’ admiration
by over achieving.
Over achieving and striving for excellence is fantastic, when
it is intrinsically motivated. When it is solely motivated by the
aching need to please another in order to feel worthy, it is not
coming from a place of strength and confidence.
It is coming from a feeling of lack.
When conditions for admiration, love and kindness are
placed on our children, they are not given the opportunity to
figure out for themselves how amazing and unique they are.
They are too busy trying to please.
Parents don’t do this consciously. That is why listening to and
watching yourself as a parent is an important part of instilling
confidence.
When we become over controlling, for whatever reason, we
disempower our children and we lose a part of our connection
with them. No loving parent consciously chooses this. It just happens.
Recognizing it is the first step to transforming it.
As we pay attention to the patterns that show up again and again,
we can begin to navigate towards a more heart centred way of parenting
by choosing to allow our children the space to find their own way
through our guidance.
We can begin to acknowledge that instilling confidence will
provide our children with far more effective tools with which
to go into the world.
At the end of the day, would you rather have it done "right"
whatever the cost or would you have it done in a space where
love and learning are present.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Turn Off The TV Because I Love You
Parents innately know that too much TV for a child, or anyone,
for that matter is not a good thing. Sometimes, we just need some
peace in order to cook dinner or take care of a task. In this respect,
the TV is very alluring for parents who are exhausted, overwhelmed
stressed or all three at the same time.
Getting your children used to entertaining themselves without the
TV may prove to be less challenging than you think and it provides
a win-win situation for everyone.
Here are a few things that you may not know about TV watching:
TV is not relaxing, it is actually stimulating, but not in a way that is
useful for young minds. A young child needs to interact with people
and the world around him in order to develop healthy brain function.
Watching TV is passive stimulation, where the child is being bombarded
with fast paced editing that lends itself to being "zoned out".
A brain needs habitual age appropriate mental challenges
for proper growth and stimulation.
Researchers have found that popular baby videos designed to stimulate
vocabulary actually had more detrimental effects that positive ones.
Babies require face to face stimulation and interaction with a parent
in order to learn. TV or Video watching interferes with the way the
young brain begins to "hard-wire" itself.
In order for the brain to develop optimally, a child needs to engage fully
in creative play that both challenges and inspires him to make full use
of the sensory data he is receiving.
The 2D experience of TV watching robs your child of engaging in problem
solving, visual and cognitive strengthening as well as learning
important social skills.
When a child does not have time set aside for introspection (playing alone,
or reading quietly) it is very difficult for him to get connected to a deeper
sense of self. With introspection comes getting to know your inner voice
and finding the wisdom within. It is a time to decompress and reflect.
Through this time of reflection a child has the chance to sort things
out and to discover his interior world.
Research indicates that children's creativity and problem solving abilities
decline as they continue to watch TV and for longer periods of time.
A child's imagination is basically watered down when TV takes up
a few hours a day of their time.
A few hours a day equals hundreds of hours a year.
If a child is used to watching a certain amount of TV per day, cutting
him off "cold turkey" seems unreasonable and can lead to resentment.
Here are a few ideas to help you with the transition from less
TV to more creative play:
Ask interesting questions often that engage your child
and encourage her to think.
Give your child an opportunity to play actively, using her whole body
as in swimming, gymnastics, soccer, etc.
Start cutting back TV watching until there is no more than 1/2 hour
after school of screen time and one - two hours on weekends.
Bring your child into the kitchen with you as you make dinner and have
her do her homework or an activity that she likes such as drawing, for example.
Give your children creative and exciting projects that are aligned with
their interests and watch how engaged they become.
Provide lots of positive feedback when your child has found ways
to play creatively.
Remember that it is critical for you to remain consistent around your
rules about TV watching so that your children know what to expect.
Withholding TV is not a punishment it is an act of claiming back the
direction that you want your child to grow towards. That direction is
positive creativity, active listening, creative thinking, inner reflection
for greater connection to inner wisdom and celebrating the uniqueness
that is "I".
You may be amazed to find that once your child(ren) have become more
accustomed to discovering who they are and what they can do creatively,
without the TV, their demand for it begins to fall back. Your children begin
to dream big and live in their creativity which is the most natural thing
for them to do.
for that matter is not a good thing. Sometimes, we just need some
peace in order to cook dinner or take care of a task. In this respect,
the TV is very alluring for parents who are exhausted, overwhelmed
stressed or all three at the same time.
Getting your children used to entertaining themselves without the
TV may prove to be less challenging than you think and it provides
a win-win situation for everyone.
Here are a few things that you may not know about TV watching:
TV is not relaxing, it is actually stimulating, but not in a way that is
useful for young minds. A young child needs to interact with people
and the world around him in order to develop healthy brain function.
Watching TV is passive stimulation, where the child is being bombarded
with fast paced editing that lends itself to being "zoned out".
A brain needs habitual age appropriate mental challenges
for proper growth and stimulation.
Researchers have found that popular baby videos designed to stimulate
vocabulary actually had more detrimental effects that positive ones.
Babies require face to face stimulation and interaction with a parent
in order to learn. TV or Video watching interferes with the way the
young brain begins to "hard-wire" itself.
In order for the brain to develop optimally, a child needs to engage fully
in creative play that both challenges and inspires him to make full use
of the sensory data he is receiving.
The 2D experience of TV watching robs your child of engaging in problem
solving, visual and cognitive strengthening as well as learning
important social skills.
When a child does not have time set aside for introspection (playing alone,
or reading quietly) it is very difficult for him to get connected to a deeper
sense of self. With introspection comes getting to know your inner voice
and finding the wisdom within. It is a time to decompress and reflect.
Through this time of reflection a child has the chance to sort things
out and to discover his interior world.
Research indicates that children's creativity and problem solving abilities
decline as they continue to watch TV and for longer periods of time.
A child's imagination is basically watered down when TV takes up
a few hours a day of their time.
A few hours a day equals hundreds of hours a year.
If a child is used to watching a certain amount of TV per day, cutting
him off "cold turkey" seems unreasonable and can lead to resentment.
Here are a few ideas to help you with the transition from less
TV to more creative play:
Ask interesting questions often that engage your child
and encourage her to think.
Give your child an opportunity to play actively, using her whole body
as in swimming, gymnastics, soccer, etc.
Start cutting back TV watching until there is no more than 1/2 hour
after school of screen time and one - two hours on weekends.
Bring your child into the kitchen with you as you make dinner and have
her do her homework or an activity that she likes such as drawing, for example.
Give your children creative and exciting projects that are aligned with
their interests and watch how engaged they become.
Provide lots of positive feedback when your child has found ways
to play creatively.
Remember that it is critical for you to remain consistent around your
rules about TV watching so that your children know what to expect.
Withholding TV is not a punishment it is an act of claiming back the
direction that you want your child to grow towards. That direction is
positive creativity, active listening, creative thinking, inner reflection
for greater connection to inner wisdom and celebrating the uniqueness
that is "I".
You may be amazed to find that once your child(ren) have become more
accustomed to discovering who they are and what they can do creatively,
without the TV, their demand for it begins to fall back. Your children begin
to dream big and live in their creativity which is the most natural thing
for them to do.
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