Sunday, October 23, 2011

Advocating from a place of love

I recently had a phone coaching session with “Cynthia” who proved
that being a successful advocate for your child does not have to involve
frustration, fear and anger.

Cynthia's son was having alot of problems with his grade 3 teacher;
they just did not seem to understand each other. "Tom" began acting
out in class and refused to focus on tasks. As a result she felt that
punishing him by separating him from the other students would
solve the "problem".

Cynthia also began to look at Tom's behavior as a problem and her
feelings of frustration were pushing her to demand that Tom listen
to his teacher.

Through our coaching conversations, Cynthia began to recognize
Tom's learning style and with a few techniques, she opened the
door to Tom's world and gained powerful insight to the root
of his behavior. Cynthia could have challenged the teacher
and taken the route of "mother bear", instead she opted to
go the conscious parenting route with amazing results.

By engaging the teacher with questions and with her intention
set at working together with the school to help Tom find his
"place" Cynthia navigated her way to success. With
perseverance and a heart centred approach that demonstrated
to everyone involved that she was committed to helping
her son and that she was inviting the school to support her
efforts - she was able to work with the teacher and principle
in a co-creative effort that supported Tom's learning style.

This led to Tom's behavior transformation from
"troublesome" to trouble free.

Tom was being "heard" and appreciated. His mother made the
effort and connected with her inner guidance to lead the school
and her son to a place of balance that worked for the school
and supported her son.

Being a successful advocate requires that you trust your instincts,
listen deeply to the messages your child is giving you, verbal
and non verbal, ask questions that create connections and be
willing to work with the school in a co-creative effort.
When the principle and teacher involved felt Cynthia's confidence,
clarity and willingness to work towards a solution, the path that
lead to exactly what Tom needed began to unfold.

Cynthia, who made the choice to be a conscious parent,
began to see the opportunities not the obstacles and allowed
her inner wisdom to lead the way. It always amazes me that with
the right intention, with unwavering focus and with love, out of
nothing and no way, we can find a way.

With love and light
Melinda Asztalos

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