Monday, February 27, 2012

Showing your child who's the boss. What is it going to cost you?

From generation to generation the idea of the parent
being the boss has been so deeply ingrained and 
accepted that it is not very often that we question
the depth of the cost of being boss.

Being the boss says, you need to do what I want and
what I need when I need it. When your child asks "Why?"
 with those big inquisitive yearning eyes, the boss
usually replies, because I said so. 

Being the boss has nothing to do with being a leader.
When our children are babies, we do everything for
them and sometimes it is difficult to acknowledge that
we need to be flexible as we adapt to their constant
growth and stage of development.

When you need to show your child who is the boss
you leave little room for your child to feel autonomy.
You leave little room for your child to feel like his
voice and opinions matter in the world. Yes you
can control what your child is doing by imposing
your will but what is the long term cost of that?

Your child will grow up believing that he needs to
seek approval from outside sources in order to feel
worthy. He will grow up feeling like he is less than
and needs to adopt certain characteristics in order
to be somebody, not so good in the teenage years.

Does this mean that we let our kids do
whatever they want? No. It means that we let go 
of the boss mentality and adopt the leader mentality. 

A leader recognizes the consequences of his
interactions with people long after the conversation
is over. A leader guides without imposing his will.
A leader inspires others to be their greatest selves. 

A boss says, "Do as I say because I am
your parent and I know what is best for 
you in every situation."

A leader says, "Trust me to guide you and I will lead
you to trust your inner wisdom and teach you skills
to live a life that you love."

Take a look deep within and honestly ask yourself
why you need to be a boss. Is it because that is
the way you were raised? Is it because deep
down you believe that you are powerless and
you need to be in control to be powerful? 
Is it because you are afraid that your child
won't turn out the way you think 
he should turn out if you are not the boss?

These are very tough questions. If you are willing
to really look at them, you are ready to dive into
the arena of conscious parenting where your
leadership skills will empower your children
and inspire them to believe in themselves.

A child who's spirit is guided and honoured is
a child that sees life with eyes that have not
been darkened with negative self-limiting beliefs.

Being a calm leader is far more powerful than
being a boss and it makes your parenting
journey much more joy filled. Your child is
under your "control" for a very short period
of time. In that time you can inspire this brave
little soul with great skill and wisdom.

With that kind of power you can change the world. 

With love and light

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